Sacrifice
by HilaryHilary
Summary: Marriage had seemed okay for Haley in the beginning, but everyone knew that it wasn't for Peyton. Not in high school. Not to a guy she wasn't in love with. Prelude to 'Early for Two' and 'Chasing Fate'. COMPLETE
1. Chapter One

Sacrifice

I didn't exactly belong in the small, stifling room but he'd wanted me there anyway. I though that the presence of his girlfriend while he was trying to negotiate the custody of his daughter wouldn't exactly be a point in his favour, but he claimed he'd needed me there, by his side.

So of course I caved.

I couldn't bring myself to focus on their conversation. It was all so unreal to me. A week ago we were perfect. He and Jenny and I were all living together at my house, beginning to date. He was one of the nicest guys I'd ever gone out with. Nicer even than Luke, who'd at one time seemed so perfect.

Now she was back. Nikki, the villain of our horror movie. Somehow or other, she was back with a vengeance, arguing again that she should have custody of their daughter.

Sometimes I'd forget that Nikki really was her mother. That Nikki had carried beautiful Jenny inside of her for nine months and then been her mother for another month. I forgot that Nikki was more than just a nagging fear, and really had a claim to her.

"How can this possibly be fair game? I've cared for Jenny since she was born! I've been her parent for a year, Nikki for a month! Nikki disappeared! How is that possible?" Jake suddenly said heatedly, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Since you didn't seek to legally take the child from her mother, Nikki's been technically as much of a parent as you've been. We can use her time away against her, but she can also use your time away against her. As I recall you were absent up until fairly recently?" said the lawyer.

"I went to Savannah in hopes of avoiding all this," said Jake honestly. I looked at him sympathetically. Savannah had been my idea, and both of us had thought that it would be the answer to his problems. But I was so, so glad that he was back.

"So I understand that she returned eight months after she left you and expressed a desire to be in the child's life?" questioned the lawyer.

"Yes, and then demanded. Soon after I left town and didn't see her up until now," explained Jake. I smiled tightly at him and saw that he was trying very, very hard to contain his anger to seem like a responsible adult. We both were. Under the desk I reached across and took his hand.

"Thank you, I think that is all I need for now. The hearing will be held in three weeks. Oh, and by the way. Who's this?" he asked, indicating me.

"This is Peyton Sawyer," said Jake. I stood up and shook his hand.

"A pleasure. Your sister?" asked the lawyer.

"My girlfriend," said Jake. I had to keep myself from smiling. After wanting him for so long it was so nice to finally have him to depend on.

"You might want to keep that under wraps-it could only do harm," advised the lawyer. Jake scoffed.

"What do you mean? Nikki slept with a guy she'd never met before just before she came back, claiming she wanted to be a family," said Jake indignantly. The lawyer raised his eyebrows and scribbled something down on a piece of paper.

"Right. The more we know, the better. I'll be seeing you, Mr. Jagielski," he said, shaking his hand. Jake nodded and we left together.

The day was bright and would have been enjoyable had the chill of the meeting had left us.

"It's going to be okay, Jake," I said suddenly.

"We don't know that. I could lose Jenny! She's more important to me than anything!" he said.

"Me too," I said.

"I know. But I have to get to work. Do you think you could pick up Jenny from Karen's and take her home, take care of her until I get home? Then maybe we could all go to the park or something," he suggested. I nodded and smiled.

"I'd like that," I said. He quickly kissed me before running off to work. He worked hard to stay in school and take care of his daughter. His coach Whitey, his boss Karen, his parents and I all worked hard to let him accomplish all he did.

The bells on the door jangled as I entered Karen's Café. Karen was a friend of mine, in a way. I'd met her when I was involved with her son Lucas and she'd become the mother figure I needed.

Lucas waved when I came in. We were friends again. Jenny, who'd been playing surprisingly quietly on the counter, suddenly perked up.

"Mommy!" she cried, sliding down from the stool and running over to me. As she reached me I swung her up into the air and then held her close. Every time she said that, it made me happier than I'd ever been. Because I wasn't her mother. I didn't even think she'd ever call me mother because I hadn't started being a part of her life until a couple months before she'd turned one. But somehow she'd picked up my maternal feelings toward her.

Karen walked over as Jenny snuggled into me, breathing softly onto my neck.

"Peyton, how did the meeting go?" she asked in concern.

"Oh. Not that bad, I guess. The lawyer said it's going to be hard to make a case against Nikki because she's the mother and Jake never legally took action against her after she left," I explained. Karen's brow furrowed.

"You two are her parents! I can't believe that anyone could take that away from you," she said.

"I know. But you know Nikki-well you don't know Nikki, but she's a bitch. She wants her daughter and she doesn't care who she hurts in the process. But thanks for taking care of her," I said.

"Anytime. Honestly, I'm her for you guys. How could anyone not love her?" asked Karen, tickling the back of Jenny's neck. Jenny squirmed and giggled.

"Thanks, Karen. Jenny and me are going to get going now," I said, picking up her diaper bag and lifting her into her stroller.

Jenny had obviously had a long nap because she was wide awake as she rode home in her stroller, chatting to me in the baby talk that I understood perfectly. Her charisma was easily noticed-almost every person we passed would peer into her stroller, smile at her then smile at me in an almost congratulatory way. And I didn't even bother to explain that Jenny wasn't my daughter, because really she was.

The house was empty as we arrived home, but I was used to that. When I was little I had lived here with my mother while my father spent most of the time working on the boat. He'd be around about a week out of every month. Then after she'd died he'd stayed at home for a year but then left again, leaving me by myself. This had bothered me until Jenny and Jake had become my family and the house had stopped being quiet.

"You hungry?" I asked her, leading her into the kitchen.

"Yes," she responded. Yeth, really.

Jenny was thankfully off baby food so I reached into the fridge and heated up a small serving of macaroni and cheese as she climbed into her high chair. As it heated I held a selection of her bibs in front of her as she chose the blue one. She was the kind of child who had to have a say in everything.

I thought about making dinner for myself and Jake but decided it wouldn't end well. We had systems-Jenny would stay all day with either his parents or Whitey or Karen and then either one of us (me more often than not) would pick her up, take her home and take care of her until the other one of us got home, at which point we'd usually go out and do something, and then hang out together after she was in bed.

Sometimes I wondered how this had all happened to me. How I'd gone from cheerleading, tortured artist, asshole-dating Peyton to Peyton the mom with her live in boyfriend. Suddenly without meaning to, I'd become a grown up and acquired a family. At eighteen I dealt with what most did at twenty-eight.

And I loved it.

After Jenny finished her dinner we went upstairs and I sketched her while she played with some trains on the rug. A year ago, my walls had been filled with pictures depicting teenage angst. They were still around, but pictured of Jenny, of Jake and of the three of us dominated.

Jake got home at around six, when it was luckily still light outside.

"Honey, you're home!" I sang jokingly, falling into his arms. He laughed.

"How are my girls?" he asked, picking up Jenny.

"Daddy!" she cried in surprised delight.

"I believe we were promised a trip to the park," I stated, kissing him. He laughed and kissed back, the dark mood of the afternoon apparently having left him.

"Come on, let's go. If leave now we can play for a while before it gets dark."

Ten minutes later we were walking down the sidewalk holding Jenny's hands. When I'd first started taking care of her it had bothered me that people might think that I was a teenage mother but I didn't even notice anymore.

The park we frequented was surprisingly full for a Thursday night. Summer was approaching, and the days had begun to get longer and warmer.

Jenny's favourite, the swings, were packed so we settled for the sandbox. She quickly found a friend of hers, a little boy named Derek and began to dig a hole in the sand. Jake and I took off our shoes and made a castle.

That night I was exhausted but couldn't sleep. My long years of Tree Hill High were almost at their end. And I was going to college at Duke, and hopefully I'd be able to be with Jake and Jenny as much as ever. My biggest regret was that Jake wouldn't be going to school with me.

_Author's note-this will get angsty soon, I promise. Any comments? Suggestions? Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Whitey had volunteered to take care of her the next day at school so that Friday the three of us went together in my car.

He pretended to be gruff when we dropped her off but Whitey was like that-he talked mean but he was mostly all talk. He loved Jenny and was happy to take care of her if it meant keeping Jake in school.

He had physics for his first class and I had biology, so we parted ways. None of my closest friend had biology with me so it was a very dull class-a slideshow more often than not, accompanied with a lecture. I wouldn't have taken the class but I hadn't figured out what my major should be at college. Originally I'd wanted to go to Yale or RISD to learn about being an artist but then I'd applied to late to get a scholarship and dad had said he couldn't afford an art school, just a regular one. So I'd opted for Duke to stay close to Jake and Jenny. Which is really pathetic, if you think about it too much, staying at home to be close to your boyfriend. It's almost as bad as going to a university just because your boyfriend goes there.

After biology I had English and then world history and then lunch.

Almost always I sat outside at a table with my closest friends-Jake, my ex-boyfriend Nathan, his brother Lucas (who was also an ex. Sort of.) and my best friend Brooke. Occasionally someone else would join us-Nathan's dumb jock friend Tim, or one of Brooke's cheerleading friends. But mostly it was our circle of five. All of us had dated at least one of the opposite sex between each other, but somehow or other we'd all managed to stay close in spite of this. I was the only one to date all three of them.

Nathan didn't date anyone anymore, despite the fact that he was a star basketball player and was good looking enough to get anyone he wanted. And Nathan had used to live like that-lots of girlfriends, lots of flings, lots of sex. But then Haley had come along.

Haley was the elephant in our living room. She'd started off as Lucas' geeky best friend, begun to tutor Nathan, then going out with him. She'd changed him, perfected him. Changed him from the asshole I'd dated to the man that he was. Haley was unquestionably the best thing that had ever happened to Nathan Scott.

Until she'd broken his heart.

She'd left him for her talents. She'd gone off on tour with Michelle Branch and Chris, a musical genius whom she'd kissed after she and Nathan had married. And after the tour had finished, she was everywhere. At music stores nationwide you could buy the cd featuring Haley's beautiful voice and her other one, featuring duets by her and Chris.

Nathan didn't know a lot of things he should have known because everyone was smart enough never to mention Haley in front of him. But there were signs to hint that she'd forgotten him about as much as he'd forgotten her-like how she still wore her wedding band on her left ring finger. And how she was still Haley James Scott instead of Haley James, and how she always denied anything going on between her and Chris, as much as he tried to hint that there was.

Brooke was alone as I approached the table that was known far and wide as ours.

"Hey," I said, dropping my tray and sitting down next to her.

"Hey. You wouldn't believe my student council meeting. They went against everything I suggested and even started talking about next year's candidates. And cheerleading practice was even worse-the squad sucks this year. No wonder we lost at the Classic again. And today I was looking at all the guys in my classes and I realized I've already gone out with or made out with the only desirable ones! What is with that?" she said. I raised my eyebrows.

"Of course the squad sucks without me," I said.

"Yeah, but you know you gotta do what you gotta do. I mean to some people being a mommy is more important than being on the A-list, but…" she giggled as I slapped her shoulder. "Oh my god, you had that meeting with the lawyers! How did that go? I can't believe I was babbling about cheerleading after that stupid meeting about the stupid skank!"

"More of the same. About how somehow or other Nikki doesn't have any point off for being a bitch and has points on for being the mom. How is that possible?"

"It's unbelievable. Oh, hey guys," she said as Nathan and Lucas came and sat down with us.

"Hey," said Lucas, smiling tightly. For the most part, Luke wasn't a smiley kind of guy. Nathan just nodded.

After Nathan began to concentrate on his lunch shot Lucas a questioning glance. Had something happened? Nathan showed up for school when he wanted to. Even before he'd turned eighteen he'd become emancipated, with the right to do whatever he pleased.

Brooke continued to entertain us with tales of her day but the conversation didn't exactly flow. I worried about Nathan and about Jake, who didn't appear as the meal progressed. Eventually Brooke and Nathan left together, both headed for English and I was left alone with Lucas.

"What's up with him?" I asked.

"Oh, you didn't see it?"

"See what?"

"Haley was on TV last night in an interview with that moron. They didn't say anything that confirmed anything but he seemed so possessive," said Lucas. My heart went out to him-Lucas loved Haley almost as much as Nathan did, though in a completely different fashion.

"Did she say she was Haley James-Scott? Did she have her wedding ring? How does she look?" I asked eagerly.

"If I didn't know her I would have said she looked great-she's thinner, all made up and in clothes she I wouldn't have thought she'd wear in a million years. Yes, she introduced herself as James-Scott, but I didn't notice her ring," he said apologetically. I sighed in exasperation. If I hadn't been busy with Jenny I would have watched the interview and noticed.

"How? You noticed her clothes! Poor guy, I'm surprised he even showed up. Hey, have you seen Jake?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah. He told me that he had to cut out early to meet with the lawyer. Apparently the lawyer though of something that Jake could do to put the battle in his favour. And then he said that he'd be home at around five and could you please ,please, please pick up Jenny from Whitey and take her home," said Lucas.

"Thanks. Now do me a favour and take care of Nathan?" I requested. He laughed, smiled for real and pulled me in for a hug. It was a lighthearted, friendly gesture but my heart couldn't lie to me about what it felt. After a moment I pulled away and ran off to class.

I met up with Brooke during last period and informed her of Haley's appearance and then mentioned how I was to pick up Jenny from Whitey. As I told her this her face fell but she quickly 'repaired' it and pasted on a bright smile.

"Brooke? Is something wrong?" I asked. I'd always figured she felt lonely now that I had such a life without her, but she'd never said anything about it.

"Nothing! It's just that we were supposed to go shopping today. Some other time, I guess," she said brightly. I winced-I had promised her Friday afternoon.

"No, we'll go today, with Jenny. Jake wouldn't mind, so long as we keep our eyes on her," I said guiltily. One day last year Brooke, Jenny and I had gone shopping and while we looked away for a moment Nikki had stolen Jenny from her stroller.

"All eyes, all the time. I love that little girl," she said.

"We all do," I said, slinging an arm around her shoulders and leaning in to her. Whoever it had been that had said took a village to raise a child had been correct.

"That's great," I said, laughing as later that day Brooke strutted around an embroidered bustier.

"I know. Shield her eyes," she said, laughing guiltily and indicating Jenny in her stroller. "Here, try this on," she instructed, handing me a red camisole.

"Why?" I asked. In shopping as we'd always done in the past, she seemed to forget my new life, my new party free life.

"For Tric or parties or whatever. Come on, you do still go to Tric," she said.

"I _run_ Tric. I have to look responsible," I said. Tric was Karen's nightclub. Once a week I ran the all ages night.

"I know you have responsibilities and I'm so, so proud of you for that but aren't you going to have to let that go soon? I mean we're going to college soon. How can you do that and be Mrs. Jagielski at the same time?" she asked, laughing slightly over her joke, looking serious at the same time.

"I'm going to try to keep taking care of Jenny. She calls me mommy now, I can't let her down," I said, reaching into her stroller and pulling her onto my lap.

"I know sweetie. I don't know if I could give this up," she said. This: the parties, the popularity, the boys, I knew she meant.

"You wouldn't believe how easy it was," I said.

"Huh. You know how I've always said I'd go to college, join the right sorority and then marry a rich guy?" she asked. I nodded. "It never occurred to me that you wouldn't be doing these things with me."

I could help it-I cried.

Brooke went home with Jenny and me and listened to my newest record at a discreet volume as Jenny played on the rug. She went home five minutes before Jake arrived-hours later than he'd promised Jake, at nine. Jenny was already asleep.

As I kissed him I could faintly smell alcohol. I'd meant for the kiss to be a welcoming peck but he pulled me in close and pressed him mouth onto mine. We did less of this than we'd like because of Jenny's constant presence, so when we did it mattered even more.

After we finally stopped I remembered his meeting.

"What did the lawyer say? And why were you home so late?" I whispered as I changed from my jeans into the flannel pants and tank top that I always wore for sleeping. I was used to him now, no longer modest. He'd stripped down to his boxers and he took my hand and pulled me onto his lap. He seemed to be searching for words.

"I was at the bar. With Luke. I needed to think about some stuff," he said.

"Okay… was Nathan there too?" I asked. Jake laughed grimly.

"No, definitely not Nathan. Not the kind of thing he'd want to talk about," he said.

"Jake, just tell me!" I begged. Jake wrapped his arms around me and I leaned against his chest.

_"Peyton, you're not going to like this," he said worridly._


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"Oh my God," said Brooke for the nine hundredth time since I'd arrived.

"I know," I responded, for the nine hundredth time since I'd arrived.

His initial confession, my silence, my leaving the house and arriving at Brooke's were all a blur to me now. My body was operating on shock and not on food or sleep. I was exhausted but I knew I'd never, ever be able to sleep.

And Brooke, good friend that she was, was not sleeping with me.

"Oh my God," she said again. I didn't answer but I felt as though she would hear my nonetheless.

"I feel like we should go talk to someone-like someone who's a model of a successful marriage, you know? But I can't think of anyone. I mean my parents barely speak to each other, Nathan's can't decided whether to be separated or together and you and Lucas are both from single parent families!" she said in annoyance. Was it a coincidence, that we'd all banded together, all of us without parents who were happy?

"Nathan…" I started to say. Brooke scoffed.

"Talk to him if you're brave enough-but he's not exactly a model of a successful teen marriage," she said. She said it sadly-she and Haley had been close as well.

"Yeah. But who is? Who can we talk to?" I wondered. I glanced at Brooke-two Brookes seemed to be arguing with each other within her head. At last one won.

"We could talk to Haley," she said quietly. Brooke hadn't said her name out loud in months. Most of us hadn't. After a long pause I picked up my purse and felt around for my cell. But when it was open, my fingers paused at Haley's entry in my address book. I couldn't do this. I couldn't break a year-long silence through the phone. I looked at Brooke, who raised her eyebrows.

"I can't do it. If I talk to her, it has to be in person and that's not possible," I said. Brooke giggled, and for a moment Brooke shone through as she handed me my car keys.

"We haven't gone on a road trip in a long, long time," she said suggestively.

"We don't even know where she is," I objected.

"Last night on her interview thing she mentioned that she was in New York, recording material for her new record. And I have her address written down somewhere," said Brooke, rummaging through the drawer of her bedside table. After a search she came back with a slip of paper with an address written in Brooke's bubbly handwriting. I hesitated but took the paper in it and stared at the address of the girl who'd once been one of my best friends.

I stared at it as I tried to work out my feelings. This was what I always did when things got tough-I hid from them. Usually I didn't need to hide as far as New York, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And I had responsibilities towards Jenny… and towards Jake, but surely he didn't expect any answer to such a crazy proposal, right?

"Come one," I ordered, grabbing my purse and running with her toward my car.

We traveled all night. Stopping for sleep didn't occur to me even though I hadn't slept in so, so long. She dozed in the passenger seat beside me, waking when we stopped for rest and McDonalds.

After another full day of driving we finally did stop at a small motel and got a room for the night. Brooke fell asleep as her head hit the pillow, but my head was too full to sleep. How could he ask something like that of me?

_Author's note: Did what he asked come through? It might make more sense next chapter. And this chapter is dedicated to my reviewers-Ali-chan1, Princessbm, Friendsfan, somnambulist29 and bibleboymary4ever. I know it's cliché but I love you so, so much. Oh, and to somnambulist29-in response to your question (and I hope you know what I'm talking about) the answer is yes._

And sorry that this chapter is so very short, but I'll try to make the next one longer.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

The ride was long, tedious and uneventful. We stopped only when absolutely necessary and received about a dozen calls a day from Jake, three from Lucas and even the occasional one from Nathan.

"You should at least answer Lucas," she said for the third time.

"But then he'd tell Jake," I said.

"So? Jake's worried sick about you. He's crazy about you, and he relies on you. Would it hurt to let him know what's going on, so he doesn't think that Nikki's like murdered you?" she said.

"But he might come after me. I wouldn't put it past him," I said.

"Would that be such a bad thing? You're not sleeping, and I have a hunch it's because you're so used to sharing a bed with him. I mean you did it even before you started doing it with him. It's only out of concern!" she argued. By this time I'd pulled into a gas station.

"That's not true!" I argued lamely. "And they've probably noticed that you're gone too, and they probably think we just went off together because I needed to think this out."

"They're not mind readers. And they're our friends. Please?" she begged. I sighed as I pulled the car to a stop and pulled out my cell.

Half of one ring was completed before Lucas answered in a panicked voice.

"Peyton? Peyton, is that you? Are you okay? Where are you? Is Brooke with you? Jake's here with me, hold on," he said.

"No! Lucas Scott if you give him that phone… I'm safe. She is too," I said.

"He told me what happened. He's worried sick about you. Everyone is. And her, too. Couldn't you have at least left a note?" he asked. He took on an older brother tone. I hated that tone-I didn't think of him as my brother.

"We left quickly. I just need to think things out and I couldn't do it in that house with him," I said softly.

"Where are you?" he demanded.

"We're roadtripping. Tell everyone I'm okay," I requested. Through the phone, I heard a slight commotion and Jake's voice came on the phone.

"Peyton? Come home. We can talk about this. I love you," he said. I hung up. Brooke looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

"Well that went well," she said cynically.

"Yeah. Let's just get some gas and keep going," I said tiredly.

We did. And two days, one ticket and seven unanswered phone calls later we were in New York City.

My small town girl eyes were wide as I took in the noise and sights of the city. The city that never sleeps, people said. Tree Hill was always asleep.

With only one map and the slip of paper we managed to locate Haley's building and park my car in an underground lot. (The cost was unbelievable!) It was big and ritzy.

"And you are?" asked a doorman nastily as we tried to enter the building. Before Brooke had a chance to work her charms on him, I spoke.

"We're here to see Haley James Scott," I said coolly. He looked us up and down before, to our surprise, a flash of recognition passed through his eyes.

"Oh, are you the reporters from that magazine? She said you'd be coming today. Come on in," he said graciously as we both nodded dumbly.

"Try and look like you know what you're doing," I instructed her in a whisper. She nodded and purposefully strode to the elevator, which was thankfully empty.

"Quick, what apartment is she?" I asked as the elevator rose from the main floor to the second.

"Just as sec. Oh, here it is. Eighteen. Press eighteen," she instructed. I pressed-eighteen was the highest floor. Did Haley live in a penthouse?

She did. It was even one of those really cool elevators-it opened right into her apartment. We walked out and instead of a hallway we were standing in an elegant entrance. We heard her voice before she came into view-

"Hey. I'm not seeing Chris, the album's due out sometime in July, my favourite colour is blue, my first boyfriend is my husband Nathan and up next for me is another tour. Want anything else?" she asked. It was her voice but she sounded so irritable.

"Yes," I called out. After another pause she entered the room we were waiting in.

She looked at us. Looked away, and looked back. She blinked. She paused, her hand glued to the doorknob.

And then she ran.

The three of us met, happy and shrieking in the middle of the room. We giggled and bounced and said things at unbelievably high pitches. The Haley spark that Lucas had said was missing was entirely apparent.

"What are you _doing_ here?" she finally managed to say.

"I needed advice in your area of expertise," I said, still excitedly.

"What's wrong? Where's Nathan?" she asked, glancing to the door.

"He's not here," answered Brooke. She nodded.

"I keep expecting him to come for me, but…"

"He's afraid you'll reject him. But he's always thinking of you. He's a mess Hales," I said.

"Okay. Um, let's talk about your problems?" she suggested, leading us through a maze of rooms to a small living room with a large piano in the corner. For the first time I really looked at her-she looked so different. First of all, she'd gone from comfortably think to Hollywood thin. Her outfits had begun to tend toward slightly more trendy and revealing even before she'd left town but now she was wearing expensive designer clothes that she'd never have worn in Tree Hill. Her hair was it's natural medium brown but curled perfectly at the ends, and her face was made up. I could see what Lucas meant.

"Okay, what did you mean my area of expertise?" she asked worriedly. I sighed as my cell rang again. I reached for it and looked at the name that appeared-Nathan. She looked at me curiously.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Jake," I lied.

"They're going out now!" said Brooke. Haley nodded as I answered it.

"Hey," I said.

"Peyton. Are you okay? Where are you?" he asked. I hadn't heard him a very long time.

"We went on a roadtrip. Didn't Luke tell you?" I asked. I was surprised he hadn't.

"Yeah, but I was hoping for more information," he said. To my horror, Haley spoke up brightly before I could answer. I heard him take in a breath sharply. "New York?" he guessed.

"Yeah," I said softly.

"I guess she'd understand," he said.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Haley suddenly looked up and peered at me suspiciously. He hung up.

"That wasn't your boyfriend," she said.

"Nathan," I supplied.

"I figured. Did he mention me?" she asked. She looked hopeful.

"He hasn't. Not in a year basically," answered Brooke. Then:

"Jake asked me to marry him," I said. Haley's eyes opened wide in shock as she stared mutely at me.

"What?"

"Jake. His lawyer said he has a far better chance of beating Nikki if he wasn't a single parent, seeing as she is. And he said that basically we're doing it now-we live together, sleep together, we have a kid together. So if we just make it official, apparently Jenny could very likely go to us," I said.

"So what's the problem?" she asked. I stared at her.

"Then there's no escaping. I'm bound to him forever-even if we divorce, it wouldn't be over, I'd still be obligated towards them. I don't want to decide my whole life," I said.

"Do you love him?" she asked.

"No. I mean I like him-I'm crazy about him, but I'm not in love with him," I answered.

"Wow. I used to think that love was enough-that since he and I had love we'd be fine. It turned out I was wrong, but I don't know how you could survive without it," she said.

"The thing is, I love Jenny and I hate Nikki and I can't stand the idea of Nikki taking care of her. And I can't help wondering if maybe that's worth the sacrifice?"

"The though of Nikki taking care of a hamster is terrifying, let alone a baby. Does Jenny love Nikki?" asked Haley.

"She doesn't even know her," I responded.

"She calls Peyton mommy. They live like a family already," said Brooke helpfully.

"We do but the thought of that forever… it scares me. I guess deep down I always figured it wasn't a permanent arrangement-just a 'for now' thing until we got old and drifted apart and married different people. I figured I'd just fill in as her mom until I got too busy with my own life and then just drop in occasionally. We're just so young…" I trailed off as I saw Haley's expression. She had been sixteen when she'd married Nathan. And their marriage had failed and they'd been so much in love.

"Do you really believe that? Or did you lie to yourself as to not get scared?" she asked. I stared at her-she knew me better than I realized.

"I don't know," I answered softly. The doorbell ran again, and she left after holding up one finger (she'd be back in on second). I glanced at her as she left and noticed something-Nathan's jersey number, 23 was still tattooed in her lower back. Brooke noticed, too. We exchanged looks of surprise.

We heard Haley speak quietly, seemingly with the reporters we'd pretended to be before she sent them away again and came back to us.

"Anyway Peyton, the bottom line is whether keeping Jenny away from Nikki is worth the 'sacrifice'," she said. She was guilting me out, I knew.

"What do you think I should say?" I asked, staring her straight in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter what I think," she said.

"It matters to me,' I insisted. She looked down and sighed before meeting my eyes again.

"Yes, Peyton, I think you should. I think you're in love with Jake and scared to admit it, and I think that Jake is undeniably in love with you. And I think that anything is worth it to keep a baby like Jenny away from Nikki," she said. Deep down I'd hoped she'd say that I shouldn't, which would give me an 'out' so I wouldn't have to. I switched my gaze to Brooke, who understood what I was asking.

"I think that it's sad that you have to decide the rest of your like so quickly but I think it's the right thing to do," agreed Brooke. I felt a tear escape my eye and trickle down my face. Haley noticed too and launched herself at me, landing on the sofa beside me and wrapping her arms around me as Brooke did the same on the other side.

"I know your right…but I just don't… want you to be… right," I said, my words interrupted by sobs.

"If you did this it would be so, so brave," said Haley.

"Is it even legal?" asked Brooke. I could hear tears in her voice as well.

"Yeah, we're eighteen," I responded. Suddenly I wondered how my father would react.

"My dad hasn't even met Jake," I said, cringing. After a moment, a giggle escaped Brooke's mouth. And then somehow, inexplicably, we were giggling too.

I finally found I could sleep so we spent the night in slumber party mode with ice cream and whatever else was in her expansive apartment. At this point my cell ran out of battery so I was utterly out of contact with my life.

We stayed up later and slept late. It was noon when we all awoke and gathered around Haley's dining room table.

"I'm so tired," I said.

"How is that possible? You just slept like eleven hours," said Haley.

"She hasn't been sleeping though. She drove while I slept and then she'd just stare at the ceiling all night while I was sleeping," explained Brooke. Haley's eyes widened. Suddenly a male voice startled us-

"Haley what are you still doing here? We're supposed to be in the Village in half an hour," said a demanding voice. I sent her a look of confusion as Chris Keller strode into the room. He didn't notice us as he entered-his gaze fell immediately on Haley. Slowly he took in the sight of her in her robe, her hair disheveled. He stared obviously and possessively and I saw her shiver under his intense stare.

"I can't make it. My friend's got a personal thing going on right now," she said.

"Remember what I said before? About how important this is? She'll cope. Hey," he said, nodding in our direction. His eyes went from me to Brooke and then back to me. He stared at me for a second, as though searching. "Oh, you're the club girl."

"Yes, she's the club girl. And she needs me now, so I'm not going. So go," she said.

"Haley it's okay. We can reschedule," he said. His tone was gentler now, from harsh to loving.

"No, we won't," she said firmly. She glanced sideways at us.

"What do you mean, we won't? This photoshoot is important. It really matters. So get up and go get changed. We'll almost be in time if we hurry," he said. She made a shrieking noise in frustration.

"No! I've had it with you! You don't own me! I'm going back to Tree Hill with Brooke and Peyton," she said, looking him squarely in the eye. He laughed.

"Right. How many times have you said that now? About crawling back to your husband? It's been a year Haley. He doesn't want you anymore," he said cruelly. I saw her eyes fill up with tears, which were more alarming than the shock of hearing her say she was giving up all this to come back home.

"Even if he doesn't I owe it to myself to try. Piss off," she said. I cringed.

"We had this same fight last week Haley," he said patiently.

"And it ended with you storming out. So go. Storm, for all I care," she said. He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I'll see you tonight," he said, leaving. She sighed.

"We have that fight weekly and he _always_ manages to convince me to stay. What do you think the odds are this time?" she asked, wiping away a tear.

"Nonexistent," said Brooke. "You're coming with us." She stood and playfully dragged Haley to her feet. They both turned to me, and Brooke's expression turned to worry.

"Peyton?"

"I can't go back yet," I said, falling back into my chair.

"The longer you put it off the higher chance Nikki has of winning," said Haley. "Come on." She extended her hand to me and after a moment's pause I took it. Then, connected, we walked to the elevator and then out into the day.

_Author's note: Does it make sense now? Once again, thanks for reading and reviewing and I'll try to add at least a couple chapters a week. _


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Brooke drove on the way back. Haley didn't offer, leading me to suspect something I'd always suspected-that she couldn't actually drive. The ride back was more fun than the ride there-we played music and talked about our lives, catching up with each other.

Brooke wanted to stop as night fell. But I didn't so we switched places-she fell asleep along the back seat while I drove with Haley beside me. We were silent for hours before she spoke suddenly.

"You once said to me-marriage is _big._ I don't know how you trust somebody for your whole life. I can't even…date somebody with that escape hatch. Do you still feel like that?" she asked.

"Jake and I have only been going out for about a couple of months. We got close for all of junior year and then senior year but I kept running from him, afraid of what closer relationship would mean. Then eventually we fessed up and got together," I said. She pondered for a second before rephrasing her question.

"Yeah, but… Trust is an incredibly huge issue to you. Do you trust Jake? Trust him to take care of you and keep you happy?" she asked.

"In some ways I do. Like I put out for him-I didn't even with Lucas and you know how I was in lo… But as incredible as Jake is I feel like if I give myself to him entirely he wouldn't be careful enough, so I have to hide parts of me," I said.

Jake ran out of the house the moment my car pulled into the drive. I got out of the care before they did, and walked slowly towards him. He ran.

As he reached me he pulled me forcefully to him and crushed against me. I could feel his hot breath on my skin and his hands felt me as though afraid I'd disappeared-from my waist to tangled into my hair. I felt a tear fall onto my skin. Slowly my arms progressed from my sides to wrapping around him. He somehow managed to pull me closer still and I could feel his jagged, uneven breaths. I could tell that he wasn't thinking right now of the proposal but of how much he cared about me, and how worried he'd been.

"Don't you ever, _ever_ do that again," he managed to say eventually. He spoke into my hair.

"You sound like my dad," I said. I would have laughed, had the moment not been so intense.

"Speaking of which, he was here. He stayed overnight. He was frantic," he said.

"Did you tell him?" I asked.

"He understands. Where _were_ you?" he asked.

"Nathan didn't tell you?" I asked in surprise. His breathing was now becoming more relaxed, but he held me just as tightly.

"Nathan _knew_?" he said.

"New York City," I whispered. I felt his nod against my hair. Slowly he disentangled himself from me and pulled away. I glanced around-Tree Hill was silent compared to New York. Jenny was beating her fists against the screen door, wanting to be let outside. Jake finally took his eyes off me and he looked Brooke and then, with surprise, to Haley. They walked over to join us, and she hugged him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly. He was still white with worry.

"I came home. I've already graduated and Chris is an ass so nothing was really keeping me there," she said. He nodded, though he didn't seem to truly comprehend. After a moment's pause, Jake reached into his pocket and pulled out a phone.

"Luke? They're here, they're safe," he said as it was answered. I couldn't hear Luke's words but could hear the tremor of his voice through the phone. It was soothing.

Less than five minutes later Lucas pulled up in his car and ran toward us. He crushed me and Brooke in an embrace before noticing Haley. He stared at her. In a moment she jumped and was in his arms. He held her, laughing.

"Hales, what happened?" he asked.

"I came back. It wasn't right," she said. He grinned. Jake reached for my hand and took a step toward the house. I turned to the rest of them.

"Come on in, have dinner with us," I suggested. Lucas raised his eyebrows and glanced at Jake.

"Don't you guys have things to talk about?" he asked tactfully.

"Ye…" I cut Jake off.

"Later. Come on in, now's a celebration time," I said, laughing falsely.

Jenny hugged my legs as soon as I stepped inside and wouldn't let me put her down once I'd picked her up.

We made pasta and ate together around the table in the kitchen. We kept up a lively conversation as Haley told us about her celebrity life and we told her about the Tree Hill gossip.

After we ate we moved to the porch and sat on the steps. We were silent with the comfortable silence of a group who knew each other well.

"Hey, it's a Tric night!" said Brooke in alarm, standing up. I glanced at my watch-it was.

"She might not have scheduled one tonight without me," I said.

"She did. So are we going?" asked Lucas.

"Does Nathan ever..?" spoke up Haley.

"Never," promised Brooke, squeezing her hand.

"But if you're there he'll know about it before tomorrow," I cautioned her. She reflected.

"I'm going. Brooke?" she asked. Brooke nodded, and Lucas stood with her. For the first time I glanced at Jake and met his eyes. He shook his head slight. Please, his eyes said.

"We're staying in," I declared. They nodded and entered Lucas' car.

He followed me inside to the kitchen. I leaned against the table as he stood in the doorway.

"I guess we need to talk," I said reluctantly. He approached me.

"We really do but can we just wait one…" he trailed off as he kissed me gently. "Second."

I leaned up and kissed him more forcefully and passionately. He responded instantly and my hands went up and gripped his short curls as his gripped my back. Still kissing we moved to the couch in the living room as he pulled off his shirt revealing a wife-beater. As we reached the sofa and fell down on it I pulled off my own shirt and he trailed kisses down my neck and kept going. He let out a low moan as he entered me for the first time since the night of the proposal.

Eventually we finished and trudged, breathless, up to our bedroom. Jenny was there, sleeping peacefully in her crib.

"I understand if you can't do this," he said. I looked at him and smiled slightly. He was such a good guy.

"Yeah," I said slowly.

"So… no?" he asked. I could tell that he was trying very, very hard not to let his emotions show on his face. I sighed.

"Remember Haley and Nathan? I know you missed their marriage but remember before that? How she changed him into a different guy and they spent all their time together? How she changed from living almost constantly around Lucas and Karen to spending all her time at his apartment? And how they'd always walk around holding hands or with his arm around his shoulder, as though they couldn't bear to let go of each other for one single second?" I asked.

"Yeah," he responded slowly.

"We don't have that. We have a lot of feelings for each other and really great sex but it isn't all there," I said.

"So we have a different relationship than them. So we can't spend all our time walking along the docks because we have a kid to think about. Does it mean I care about you any less?" he asked. He approached me, sitting on the end of his bed. He went on his knees and took my hands in his, comforting me.

"Nathan and Haley had love-tons of it-but that didn't save them. We don't even have that," I argued.

"I love you," he said. He looked deep into my eyes but I didn't get the sensation that he was peering deep into me and was able to see everything. The sensation I'd always had with Lucas and never with Nathan.

"You're just saying that," I said. It was convincing.

"I'm not. So you're not?" he asked. I took a deep, steadying breath and looked into his brown eyes again.

"No. I am."


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

I didn't regret it. I'd given up regret a year previously when I'd gone after a second chance with Lucas and he'd slept with Brooke.

Lucas dropped Haley off at our house after Tric.

"Was he there?" I asked as she came in through the door.

"No. Everyone else on the planet was though. Karen asked after you-she was worried about you," said Haley. Behind her words I detected a slight sense of annoyance-Karen was my mother figure. She used to be that to Haley-did Haley resent that?

"Not as worried as she was about you, I'm sure," I said. Haley laughed.

"God, she almost suffocated me. I missed her too," she said.

"I guess the all ages club is kind of obsolete, now that we're all eighteen," I said.

"Hey, I'm not" she said defensively. I laughed. "What?"

"It's just funny that you're like the only one who isn't eighteen yet and you're internationally know and you have two albums out and you have two apartments and a house," I said. She giggled.

"That is weird," she admitted.

"So what about your parents? I guess they were worried too?" I asked as we walked inside as she sat on the couch-I didn't want to sit there.

"Oh, they're all over the place. I've seen them a couple of times since I left here. What are you doing down here? Where's Jake?" she asked, noticing the time on the clock on the wall.

"Well, we had sex. _Then_ we talked and now he's up there and I'm down here," I said, grimacing. I'd lain in bed beside him until he'd fallen asleep and then gotten up again.

"And..?" she asked. She looked worried for my sake.

"Tomorrow," I said dully. She reached for my hand.

"Oh my God," she said. A lot of people had been saying that lately.

"I know. This time tomorrow…" I said, laughing grimly.

"Actually tomorrow is today-it's two a.m. So are you going down to city hall or something?" she asked. I glanced at her and noticed her twirling her wedding ring.

"No, a church. He's catholic. Want to come? You and Luke and Brooke and Nathan, I guess. And Karen, and Jake's parents," I recited. She giggled.

"Well, it's a lot more than we had," she said.

"I have to go get him a ring," I said suddenly. She yawned.

"Yeah. Um, can I crash here?" she asked. I cringed.

"Of course, but maybe not there," I said. She narrowed her eyes.

"Why?"

"Well remember how I told you about me and Jake having sex?" I asked. She nodded before realization came to her.

"Ew! Ew, ew, ew!" she sprang up and I dodged the hand she aimed at my head. I laughed-my loud donkey laugh.

"Remember when Brooke and Felix did it in your bed?" I asked her. She nodded and laughed as Jenny began to wale. She cast me a guilty look before I ran upstairs and into our room.

Jake was a light sleeper, but he wasn't awake when I ran into the room and headed for Jenny's crib. She was beginning to scream, and trying to climb out of her crib. I picked her up and held her against me, whispering soothing noises. Her crying gradually moved from pure hysteria to exhausted sobbing. I could feel her wet face on my neck.

"Want me to take over?" he asked softly, reaching for her. How could anyone have slept through that?

"No, it's okay. She's calming down," I said. As I spoke I put her experimentally back down in her crib. She lay back down, still whimpering quietly.

"Shh. Good girl," he said comfortingly. He'd had her at sixteen but he was an incredible father. Even before I'd come along he'd managed fine.

"You know how incredible I think you're being, right? By agreeing to do this? It's an incredible large thing to give," he said. I nodded.

"Yeah," I said. I couldn't find more words to say. He kissed the top of my head before climbing back into bed.

The next morning he was gone. I figured he was at school-I'd mostly forgotten that school existed. Then I wondered if he'd bothered-was he psyching himself up, or merely abiding with tradition?

I looked forward to the whole day in bed but Haley and Brooke swooped down on me.

"Get up," Haley ordered. I frowned at her and burrowed under my covers.

"We're going shopping," added Brooke. She found my hand and tried to pull me up. "God I miss your twig days. Whatever happened to your waistline?" she asked. I scowled at her.

"I think Haley stole it," I grumbled.

"Up up up!" said Haley cheerily, pulling away my duvet. I sprang up to try and take it back. "Well, now you're up! Go shower, get changed. We're going to the mall."

They were making themselves comfortable in my kitchen when I appeared, my hair still drying on my shoulders. Brooke squealed once she saw me.

"So what do you think, Tutor Girl? Up or down?" she asked Haley. Haley considered. After Brooke began to fiddle with my hair, I understood what I mean.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked. Malls, hairdos?

"Dude, you're getting married today," clarified Haley.

"No. Well yeah, but not really. I mean I'll probably go in jeans," I said. Brooke laughed.

"Nu-uh. Okay, mall time now. Come one, Haley's credit card," she said cheerily. They dragged me to Brooke's care. I was lucky, really, to have friends as good as them when I was being such an awful friend.

"No, it looks too small. And what about this one?" wondered Brooke, peering into display at the jewelry store. I peered, too. As far as I could tell it was exactly the same.

"Brooke they're the same. That one's good," I said, pointing to the first, 'too small' one. She shook her head.

"No, this one's all ornate," she said. I peered down and noticed etchings on the second ring she'd pointed out.

"Simple's good. This one. Let's just wrap it up and get out," I said, leaning against the counter and sighing. They'd already argued over gold wedding bands for three quarters of an hour.

"This one, Miss?" asked the assistant. He wasn't what I'd expected-he was tall and square shouldered. He had large, square, hands. Suddenly an idea struck me.

"Excuse me-could you do me a favour? Could you um try that ring on?" I asked. He looked confused, but compiled. "It is comfortable? Cut off circulation?"

"No miss," he said.

"Okay, we'll take it," I said.

"An engraving perhaps? Anything else?" he pressed.

"Nothing. How much?" I asked, reaching for my credit card.

"Someone's in a very unshoppy mood," accused Brooke as we left the store.

"How did you _do _this?" I suddenly asked Haley.

"It was easy. I got changed and then I went there and he was looking so hot and so reliable and I just thought 'this is it', so I was good," she said. I wondered if Nathan was yet aware that his wife was back in town.

"I wish I was like that. So can we go home now?" I asked. Haley laughed and linked her arm with mine.

"Like hell. Look," she instructed. I glanced in the display of the store in front of us.

"No. So not necessary," I grumbled.

"Oh, yes," she said, pulling me in.

"This one would look lovely on you. Or this one? Or maybe the strapless?" said a forward assistant helpfully. We were in a sea of white satin and bustling attendants.

"Oh, get this one," said Brooke, looking at a slinky low cut dress.

"I don't care," I said honestly.

"Really dear! It's the most important day of your life! Here, try on this off the shoulder one," said the woman, pushing a dress at me.

The strapless one was too big. The next one was too bulky, the third too extravagant and the fourth too slutty.

"Makes you want to get married, doesn't it?" asked Brooke happily. Haley fixed her with a disbelieving stare. Brooke blushed and looked away.

"This is impossible!" I said as I flopped down on a sofa, still in the slutty dress. "White's not my colour and I hate trying on clothes."

"This one next," she said, shoving a simple one at me.

Sighing loudly I went back in to the small change room. This was ridiculous-I'd never find a wedding dress I wanted. I felt as though you needed excitement for a wedding to have excitement for a dress, and I didn't have excitement for the first and therefore not for the second.

I came out and leaned against the wall, folding my arms across my chest. Haley looked up and gasped, Brooke shrieked.

"That's it! Look, Peyton!" said Brooke excitedly. I turned to the mirrored wall and tried hard not to let my own gasp escape.

The dress was simple. It was strapless and showed cleavage, but was far from slutty. There was beading on the bodice, the beading getting more gradual as it reached the high waist. It went down from there without a crinoline but not slinkily and ended at my ankles. As Brooke had said my waist had thickened in the past year as I'd given up cheerleading and started eating more, but the dress worked well on my slightly curvier body.

"You look beautiful," said Haley, coming up behind me.

"Do you want a veil?" asked Brooke, joining her. I shook my head-the dress was enough. Suddenly the ring of Haley's cell phone interrupted our reverie. She answered it.

"This is Haley James Scott," she said. "What? No, red. Yeah, that's right. About thirty, I think." She wandered off and I looked at Brooke, puzzled. She shrugged with a puzzled expression that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Do you realize that in twelve hours I'll be the only none married girl of my closest friends? How mess up is that?" asked Brooke, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"Do you have a boyfriend right now?" I asked her. We hadn't talked about her in days.

"Not right now. Who is there?" she asked. Felix, her boyfriend had moved away months ago and she'd only had flings since. Lucas (and I as well) had hurt her badly enough to fear relationships.

"It doesn't have to be someone popular or gorgeous," I said, hinting.

"It always has been before," she said. Haley came back.

"Okay let's go pay, but I have to go soon," she said. I met her eyes through the mirror but she looked away.

"Okay," I said. We went and paid for my dress and a pair of white shoes. Almost as soon as we did, Haley ran off.

"What's up with her?" I asked Brooke. Brooke again answered with her unconvincing shrug.

"What are you guys planning?" I demanded.

"Nothing! But it's going to be awesome!" said Brooke excitedly as we reached my car and rode back.

She spent the rest of the afternoon fussing with my face hair and nails. She began with the nails-a French manicure. Then the hair which she pulled up, slid some combs into and then left a few of the blonde curls to dangle.

We drove to the church to finish off the job.

I grew apprehensive as muffled voices begin to fill the church-the same one Keith had almost married in, the one my parents had actually married in.

"How many people are here?" I asked Brooke as she carefully applied lip gloss. She shrugged unconvincingly.

"Like eight, right?" I asked. She nodded and plucked an eyebrow hair.

"Done! Okay, I have to go get changed. Um wear these, I'll come to get you in twenty minutes. Breath, honey. I love you," she said. I hugged her as she left, handing me a small package.

I unwrapped it slowly. Inside it I found a pair of earrings. Dangling, beautiful diamonds. They were familiar, as though I had seen a celebrity wear them. But more friendly than that somehow. It was after I had slid them into my ears and admired their affect that I realized.

They had been my mother's.

Of course I leaked tears at his point so instead of spending those twenty minutes calming down I spent them trying to fix my make up so Brooke wouldn't notice and freak out.

Brooke came back exactly when she said she would, as though she was abiding to a strict schedule. She handed me a bouquet of red and white roses, which I took from her and inhaled.

"You Dad gave them to Jake to give to you," she said, indicating the earrings. After a moment I noticed what she was wearing-a long, formal hyacinth blue dress. She looked beautiful and her hair was flowing and loose.

"Brooke, what's going on?" I asked. She took my wrist and took me to the door.

"You'll understand in a minute! Oh, why did Haley trust me remain quiet?" she asked. I stopped dead. "What?" she asked in slight annoyance.

"The ring! Where is it?"

"Don't worry! We took care of it! Come on!" she said. As we rounded a corner she sped ahead and I caught a glimpse of the wedding chapel and the people in it. And what Haley and Brooke were wearing.

_Haley's secret was a good one._


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

She rounded the corner and entered the chapel but I stayed, mostly hidden. I looked in in surprise. I was expecting about a half dozen guests, a bare chapel with maybe some flowers.

Brooke had hurried to stand by Haley, who was wearing an identical dress. Haley's hair was twisted into a French knot with a sprig of a lily-of-the-valley, and Brooke now sported one as well.

That was what first caught my noticed, but the second thing was far more exciting-the guests. I'd recited the list to Haley the previous night-her, Brooke, Nathan, Luke, Karen and Jake's parents. They'd have filled up the first pew.

These guests filled up almost all the pews. I quickly noticed all the guests I'd mentioned and many others-Nathan's mom Deb, Theresa, Brooke's cheerleading friend, Tim, my grandmother. There were dozens of Tree Hill high students and even some guests from THUDD magazine. There were at least a hundred of them, few of which I did not recognize.

Flowers decorated the pews and the alter. They weren't pastel, which I hated. Many red ones. A lot of roses. Organ music was playing a classical type song that I faintly recognized but could not name.

Then I noticed what I should have noticed first-Jake. He was wearing a tux. He looked hot.

I heard footsteps behind me but couldn't take my eyes away from the sights. It looked like a real, planned wedding. As if on cue, Haley turned around and winked. How could she have arranged this in less than twenty-four hours?

"I know your father should be doing this but I'm the best they could scrounge up," said a drawling, slightly accented voice from behind me. I turned around in surprise. Whitey. He was the next best thing-even before he'd started taking care of Jenny he'd understood how I'd felt about my mother's death and had helped me to sort out his feeling. He had exchanged his baseball cap for a tux, complete with a white rose in the buttonhole.

"What's going on?" I asked. He took in the sight of me in my dress. Not in a remotely perverted way but almost in a 'my little girl's all grown up' way.

"Mrs. Scott junior thought she owed you for lost time," he said.

"And you're here being my dad?" I asked.

"No crying," he warned me. He offered me his arm. I took it.

As we appeared, Brooke and Haley began to walk down the aisle together. As we reached the door, they were three quarters down the aisle, and we began to walk down it. It seemed to take hours of me feeling people's gazes fast on me, but I got to the end before I was ready for it. I noticed that where my family should be, my real family was-grandma, Karen, Keith, Luke's uncle. I smiled at Karen and noticed who stood on the bench beside her-Jenny. Jenny waved. I continued looking at the first pew-Nathan. But his eyes seemed to be the only pair in the room not on me. They were staring directly into Haley's.

And Haley was staring right back.

My eyes met Jake's. He was smiling, and he made me smile. For a split second, my gaze flashed to his best man, Lucas. And once again, maybe for the last time, he saw all of me.

Whitey stopped and I stopped with him. He went forward to kiss my cheek. And I heard a whisper-

"Your mother would have been proud of you," he said. Jake came forward and I passed from Whitey's arm to his. We walked and stood in front of the reverend. For the second time I glanced at Lucas-his intense stare was upon me. Then I glanced at my bridesmaid's-Brooke was giving me an 'I'm here for you and I love you' look. Haley was still staring at Nathan.

I looked back at Jake as the reverend man began to speak. I didn't even listen. My gaze darted continually from Jake to Luke. Every so often Jenny would interrupt with a comment of her own and I'd hear Karen try to shush her.

"I, Jacob Jagielski," said Jake. My gaze swiveled back to him.

"Take you, Peyton Sawyer," droned the reverend.

"Take you, Peyton Sawyer," he repeated.

"As a sign of my love and affection," insisted the reverend.

"As a sign of my love and affection."

"To have and to hold from this day forward," said the reverend.

"To have and to hold from this day forward," repeated Jake.

"In sickness, and in health, in wealth and in poverty, for better or for worse."

"In sickness, and in health, in wealth and in poverty, for better of for worse."

"This is a promise I make unto eternity," said the reverend with a sense of finality.

"This is a promise I make unto eternity," he said. He smiled. The reverend turned to me.

"I, Peyton Sawyer," he began.

"I, Peyton Sawyer," I repeated.

"Take you, Jacob Jagielski."

"Take you… take you, Jacob Jagielski," I said. We went through the same list of vows. The reverend recited a short monologue.

"And do you, Jacob Jagielski, take Peyton as your lawfully wedded wife?" asked the reverend. Jake stared hard into my eyes.

"I will," he promised.

"And do you, Peyton Sawyer, take Jacob as your lawfully wedded husband?" asked the reverend. For a split second my gaze left Jake's. My eyes met Luke's, Brooke's, Haley's, Karen's, Whitey's, and Luke's again. Don't! his eyes said. My eyelids fluttered closed and then opened again.

"I will," I said softly. The reverend nodded. Luke handed Jake a ruby ring and Brooke handed me the wedding band.

"Repeat after me," he ordered Jake once again.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed," he said, sliding the ring onto my ring finger.

"Peyton, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed," he said, turning on me. My gaze traveled again for another long moment.

"With this ring, I thee wed," I repeated. I slid the band onto his finger. It fit, as it had the cashier.

"And are there any objections?" asked the reverend, glancing around the silent room. "Then, with the giving and receiving of rings, I declare Peyton and Jacob man and wife. Jacob, you may kiss your bride," he said. Jake took my hands and turned to me. He brushed a gentle kiss on my lips. Then we moved slightly forward and signed a document. The crowd began to cheer. I heard Jenny cheering along with the rest of them. As I progressed down from the steps on Jake's arm once again, I saw her waving her fists in the air. I turned to Jake and to Brooke and Haley.

"Just one sec," I promised. Picking up my skirt in one hand, I headed for Karen and Jenny. As I reached them I held my arms out to Jenny, and the climbed into them. I settled her on my hip and went back to Jake, who was laughing. As I passed Nathan, I noted that he was still staring at Haley. Was there any hope for them?

Jenny waved joyfully as we proceeded back up the aisle. Once we reached the hall outside and they'd closed the door behind us, Brooke squealed and hugged me.

"You just got married!" she said excitedly.

"I just got married!" I repeated. It hit me then-I had just got married. There was no way out anymore. I'd have to trust him now. Haley came forward and hugged me next as Brooke moved on to Jake.

"You couldn't keep your eyes off him," I murmured as she hugged me.

"He looks so good," she answered. I pulled away and went back to Jake. He leaned down to kiss me again.

"Thank you," he whispered in my ear. "You look beautiful."

"Speaking of which, how the hell did you manage all this? And how did all these people get here?" I asked Haley.

"You've lived here all your life. You've met a lot of people in your life, of course they're here. And I have connections," she said smugly.

"So, where to now?" I asked. "Home?" I tried not to say it hopefully, but it came out that way.

"No, your reception," said Brooke. She giggled.

"Where?" I asked. I grimaced as I imagined white tablecloths and a cheesy band.

"Nothing traditional, I promise," said Haley. "It's a surprise, and you're gonna love it." She waved as she and Brooke went off. As they did the inevitable happened-Nathan and Luke appeared around the corner. They both hugged me. But Nathan had other things on his mind.

"Where is she? What is she doing here? Did she bring Chris with her? Is she just visiting?" he demanded. I saw the lost face I knew so well.

"He doesn't mean anything to her," said Lucas.

"She's come home," I assured him.

"Why the hell am I supposed to let her? Am I just supposed to welcome her back with open arms?" he demanded.

"Yeah…" said Jake.

"Aren't you?" I asked in worry. He sighed and looked at the ceiling.

"Yeah," he admitted.

"Hate to break up the party, but you guys got to head out. There's a car out front, it'll take you to the reception. Love you guys, we'll see you there," said Luke. He hugged me again and I pressed against him instinctively.

Jake took my hand as we walked in silence to the front door. There was no lame music playing and no crowd assembled. I was glad-that would have annoyed me. I imagined them being restrained in the chapel and giggled.

"What?" he asked. He looked amused. I shook my head.

"Did you know about all this?" I asked.

"Since this morning, yeah. Haley called me at five and insisted I leave before I saw you again so we wouldn't be eternally cursed. And then gave me a list on instructions. She wouldn't let me leave a note. Sorry," he said. I shook my head again.

He helped me into the limo that was parked outside and came in after me. There was champagne and lots of food, but I wasn't hungry. I leaned against him, bringing my feet onto the empty seat beside me. He moved slightly to make me more comfortable and wrapped his arms around me.

"Brooke warned me about messing up your hair," he said.

"Brooke's going to do it in the limo on the way to her reception. We won't," I said. He laughed.

"Who's taking care of Jenny if everyone's coming to the reception?" I asked.

"My parents. It isn't their kind of scene, trust me," he answered I looked up at him in suspicion as we passed Tric.

But then the car pulled to a stop. Jake climbed out and gave me his hand. As I came out the pieces came together-we were still in front of Tric.

"Here?" I asked. He laughed and nodded. "That's so great!" I threw myself at him and he caught me and twirled me around before setting me down again and leading me up the stairs.

Tric was decorated almost as it had been for Nathan and Haley's post wedding party. Balloons were everywhere. Pictures and drawings of Jake and I decorated the walls. I wandered over to the DJ and looked at some of his records. And they were familiar-because they were mine. I looked up at Haley, who'd come up with Brooke.

"I had to keep you from your little music room so you wouldn't notice that I'd take all of these," said Brooke. I hugged them both.

"Is Nathan here yet?" I asked. Haley shook her head.

"He asked about you," I said. Brooke's eyes widened.

"You guys are totally getting back together tonight! This is they best night ever!" she said excitedly. She grabbed her friend Mouth, who was DJing and hugged him. He blushed.

"He wouldn't welcome me back," she said.

"He said he'd do exactly that," I confirmed. Jake came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me again, planting a kiss on my temple.

"I missed you," he whispered. Brooke rolled her eyes, linked arms with Haley and walked off.

"Why isn't my dad here?" I asked. It seemed so wrong to get married without him. Even though I just didI reminded myself.

"Well he would have stayed and cancelled his trip but I was fairly sure you're running away had meant you were saying no," he said.

"I just needed to think," I said.

"I know. And I'm glad you did," he said. Guests began to pour in, putting gifts on the table and swarming over to congratulate us.

I didn't particularly want to talk to them so I just smiled and nodded until Karen approached. She hugged me.

"How do you feel?" she asked. I leaned forward and whispered in her ear:

"Nauseous," I answered honestly. She laughed.

"Can I see the ring?" she asked. I held it our and she admired it as I looked at it for the first time.

It was very simple, but surprisingly me. Brooke would have wanted a diamond the size of her knuckle, Haley was happy with her gold band, but I liked what I had. A simple silver band leading to a round, blood red ruby.

"It's beautiful," she said decidedly. "But aren't engagement rings generally diamonds and not rubies? What made you decide otherwise?"

"Well it's a wedding ring, not an engagement ring, seeing as we were engaged for about twenty four hours," he said.

"How is it possible that you got married before me?" she asked. I shrugged.

My attention was brought to the front when Haley moved to the stage. Everyone began to cheer loudly-she was a phenomenal singer. She walked to the microphone.

"Hey everyone, it's great to be back here. I'm going to sing one of my songs-I wrote it when I got married and it represents…" she trailed off, and I saw her look at Nathan again. "It represents how much I love him."

As she began to sing the floor cleared out-people moved like magnets to the edges of the dance floor. Jake came up beside me and offered me his hand.

"Do we have to dance?" I asked, cringing.

"Please?" he asked. I nodded, and we walked to the centre of the floor. I took his hand and he put his other around my waist. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Nathan head for the edge of the stage. Haley didn't notice-her eyes were closed, she was singing her heart out.

My traveling eyes went to Jake's. He was gazing deep into mine. I didn't feel completely understood but while we danced, the world suddenly fell away and I felt loved. The three minute song lasted an eternity as for the first time I understood what the whole thing was really about.

"And every time I watch you sleep," finished Haley, her voice going low as she reached the last notes. Jake kissed me again as the crowd burst into cheers and moved back onto the floor.

I watched as Haley moved to the edge of the stage. When she saw Nathan, waiting for her she froze. But he offered her his hand-a jump in her bridesmaid dress would have been ungraceful. She took it and stepped down.

I was expecting them to leave to go argue. In my wildest dreams, I'd expected them to leave to go talk and consider getting back together.

But he took me by surprise when he leaned down and kissed her. And not a soft, gentle, welcoming kiss. A passionate, love filled, 'I can't live without you anymore' kiss. They slipped naturally back into themselves and kissed their hearts out, pulling away mutually after they were done. He pulled her to him and rested his chin on her head.

"Look at that," I said to Jake.

"I know. An omen, maybe?" he said. I grinned at him. I glanced back at them and they were still melded together-not speaking, not even moving. I caught Brooke's eye and motioned towards them. She nodded and grinned before ascending the stage herself.

"Haley and I couldn't decide which one of us was the maid of honour. Eventually she decided I was, because she isn't a maid anymore and because Peyton and I are literally BFF. And our friendship has gone through some really tough times but one of the things I was thinking about was that maybe it isn't so crazy that she's getting married because she can live through those tough times. She doesn't give up when the going gets rough, like I want to do instinctively. She wants to hold on to what she loves and what she knows is right. And that, Jake, is why you're so lucky. To Peyton and Jake," she said, holding up a glass of soda. The assembled crowd responded in a rumble-

"To Peyton and Jake." Her speech was improvised, I knew, but came straight from her heart.

"I'm lucky for lots of reasons," he whispered into my ear.

When Brooke had climbed back off the stage the DJ began to play again. This seemed to shock Nathan and Haley apart, but they didn't move far. She took his hand and led him outside to the fire escape, and I could see them sit down and begin to talk just before the door to outside swung back closed.

"I can't believe it," I said. He followed my gaze.

"He's been so miserable for a year," he said.

"Maybe they'll both be happy. Maybe they've grown enough so that they can finally be together forever. I mean they so belong together," I said. The fast song that had been playing stopped and a slow one came back on. We began to dance again. I saw Luke lead Brooke to the floor and frowned slightly.

"Something wrong?" he asked, noting my expression. I shook my head.

"Good," he said softly. He was so nice.

We sat down after the song and I spent the next hour talking to various guests and staring at the door, waiting for Nathan and Haley to come back. At some point during that hour, the disturbing thought came to my head that I was more concerned about their marriage than my own, three hour old one.

"Excuse me?" said Luke awkwardly into the microphone. The crowd quieted again. "I wish I could say things about Peyton like the things Brooke could say, but I can't. I've only known her for about two years. But before I knew her, I wanted to know her because everyone did. She was fascinating. And I'm not going to say she took notice of me immediately-she didn't," he said. Everyone laughed. "She put up a wall around herself. I'd like to say I tore that wall down, but I can't give myself full credit-because credit belongs to Jake Jagielski. He's one of the few people I know that can pick her up when she's fallen and make her happy again. He brought of the best of Peyton and helped her shed her old skin. And even though I haven't always been the best of friends to her, I'll say this now. Jake, Peyton, congratulations. And I love you both," he said. I met his eyes again at this. I love you too, I mouthed. Alarmingly, a tear slid down my cheek and another joined it.

"Peyton? What's wrong?" asked Jake, pulling a handkerchief out and handing it to me.

"Nothing. I'll um. I'll be right back," I promised, heading for the door.

I took a deep breath as I reached the outside. I gazed up at the star filled sky and the sliver of moon. I glanced down at my left hand and the blood red ruby. I leaked another tear.

"Hey," said a voice softly. Two hands joined mine on the railing.

"I thought you'd be Jake," I said bitterly.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm just so confused," I answered. He placed his finger under my chin and turned me to face him.

"It's going to be okay," he promised. His voice wasn't higher than a whisper.

"No it's not," I said. I abandoned him and stormed back into Tric, drying my tears as I did.

Jake looked alarmed as I reached him. He took my hand.

"What's up?" he asked. I glanced around quickly at the crowd of partying teenagers and even grown-ups, and to Brooke talking to Mouth, Nathan and Haley still absent and to Lucas staring straight at me.

"Can we go?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah. Come on," he said. We walked together to the door, straight past Luke's staring eyes.

The limo driver was still waiting as we came out and he drove us back home. We took the same positions we had on the way their-I leaned against his chest and drew my legs up. He kissed the top of my head.

My house was dark and obviously deserted. He helped me up the stone steps to the walkway-they were difficult in heels. As we neared the wooden porch steps, he stopped me.

"Come here," he said. He got one arm under my knees, the other under my shoulders and lifted me easily into his arms. I wrapped my own around his neck as he climbed the four steps. He handed me the house key from his pocket and I took one hand from his neck to unlock the door and open it.

He walked me to the sofa and set me down there. The same sofa. I cringed inwardly.

"Nice. Very 'Officer and a Gentleman', I said. He sat down beside me. Slowly he leaned forward and pressed his lips on mine. At first he was gentle but his touch gradually grew more passionate, more loving. After a few minutes I shrank from him.

"Where's Jenny? We forgot to pick her up?" I asked.

"She's at my parents," he said slowly.

"Why?" I asked him. Jenny never slept over there.

"Peyton, it's our wedding night," he said. I nodded.

"And?" He looked at me incredulously.

"Well sometimes married couples like to enjoy a certain level of… intimacy on the first night of their marriage," he said, slowly and carefully. I looked at him for another moment before shooting up.

"What? Tonight? You think we'd do that here, tonight? What's wrong with you? God, I'm not a whore!" I yelled at him. Confusion grew on his face.

"I know you're not! But we've been doing that for a while now and we both really like it and people always do it on their wedding nights! Why do you object so strongly?" he asked.

"God, Jake! Just because it's legal now doesn't mean you get my body whenever you want," I said, stalking off.

Author's note-Sorry if I offended anyone in the wedding ceremony-it was just bits that I've gathered from movies and such. And I understand some of you didn't understand the end of the chapter before the one before this. Sorry about that! Don't hesitate to question, and as always, make my day happier with your reviewing


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Shortly after midnight I crept into my room, changed into my pajamas and left to go to bed in my father's room. I'd done this only once-a few months previously, just before we'd hooked up when I was too full of hormones to sleep asexually with him.

The hormones were still there but my emotions were too strong. And my lack of emotions affected me too well. I felt as though I should be blinded by love, already choosing the names of our children. But I wasn't. Jake was such a great guy. The greatest guy I'd ever dated. Nathan was an ass, back when we'd been going out. Luke had seemed like the greatest guy ever. He'd wanted me back and we'd almost gotten together when my ever present fear returned. I'd turned away when he'd begun to talk about a relationship based on more than sex. But then he'd gotten together with Brooke the night I'd gone for a second chance. And then he'd cheated on her-with me. And the night after I'd broken it off, even though I still loved him, he went and slept with a stranger.

A stranger who'd turned out to be Nikki.

I knew that at one point she'd been a good person. She'd had to have been, for a person like Jake to fall in love with her. Or was her badness always underneath? Had he fallen for her flirting? Did he really love me, or had he fallen yet again?

I thought back to when my parents had shared the room. On rainy night I'd cross the hall to their room and climb into their bed-this was before I'd stopped showing my feelings. Then I thought of the haze of events from the car crash to her funeral, and to the day he'd gone off on his boat and left me all alone.

I wasn't alone anymore. If I wanted, I'd never be alone again. All I had to do was walk back into my room and curl up next to him as I'd done for so long. It would be such a simple act-and he'd welcome me. But the thought of this somehow made me only burrow further under the sheet.

My thoughts had been so preoccupied with the wedding that I hadn't thought about the trial in days. My thoughts turned to it. We could _win_. We'd now employed the biggest gun in our arsenal, and the lawyer though we'd be successful. We had trouble affording the trial, but we had to figure that she did too. She was only a dropout, after all.

Dropout. I remembered that I was enrolled at Duke for next year. I hadn't wanted to go particularly in the first place, but the whole situation didn't exactly put it in better light. If I wanted to make the marriage work would spending the first four years busy at school really be the best path?

I pulled my ring off. Slid it back on. It occurred to me that we could just be fake married, in name only. Then it hit me that we'd already lived like a married couple, so stopping now made no sense. _Why had I shot him down_? It's not like I didn't want to do it. Or that he had no right or that I was anything like a virgin. Haley had maybe been a virgin when she and Nathan had gotten married, unless they'd done it that afternoon. I wasn't like that. I'd lost my virginity to him as well. But I'd only ever been with two guys-it struck me that I'd only ever be with two guys. Brooke's magic number was… well, it was high. I felt like calling Haley, to muse about marriage with her, but worried she'd be too busy in her own situation. I hoped they'd get back together. He needed her. And underneath her fame, her new 'perfect' self, she needed him just as much. Back when they'd first gotten together, the pairing of Nathan and Haley had seemed as insane as Brooke and Lucas. But Nathan and Haley turned out perfectly. At least, for a few months. Maybe they'd turn out perfectly again?

I stiffened as I heard the creak of bedsprings in my bedroom-in our bedroom. If he got up, he'd get up to talk. He wouldn't push it. He knew me well. _Not as well as some…_

What we had had once seemed so special. Back when he'd left for Savannah, I'd literally pined for him. And then he'd come back and moved in with me. Slowly we got closer and closer, which was enough for me. When we'd finally hooked up, I was bursting with happiness. I thought he'd get me over Luke for better or worse, and help me fall in love again. And he was so musical, and so faithful. He'd never go sleep with Nikki. Well, he had slept with Nikki. But a long time ago.

I almost wished for Jenny. If she woke up, and started to wail I could go back and we'd probably be able to resolve. But now there was no way to go back except for to back down. And my ridiculous pride wouldn't allow that.

I crept back into my room. After a moment of searching I found my sketchbook and ran back to the room with it.

After an hour, I looked with pride at my finished sketch. A girl that was me with a ring on her finger, a boy that was Jake holding her. A baby at their feet. A skank in the background. As I always do, I caption it in neat letters. The caption reads-

_I didn't mean forever._

Authors note-Sorry this is so short and so plotless. Next one is full of Naley and with luck will be up in a couple hours or so. I hope this chapter didn't make you abandon the story entirely…


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

The room burst into cheers. After a year of the same response I'd grown used to it, but it never failed to warm my heart.

He was there, I knew. We'd gazed into each other's eyes endlessly at the wedding when we should have been thinking about Peyton and Jake. We hadn't made it with love-could they make it without.

I walked to the end of the stage, prepared to hop off, and froze. A hand was offered to me. A familiar, ring bearing hand. A ring bearing left hand.

I'd placed my right hand in his and come off the stage before I'd seized the bravery to look into his eyes. His deep, warm, brown eyes. Even in the pictures I'd seen of him in the last year, I hadn't been able to see the feeling in those eyes. Did he miss my eyes? Did he miss me at all?

He leaned down. He had to lean down far-even in my heels, my five feet four inches self was dwarfed by his six feet two self. Had he grown taller even? I loved that he was tall.

I should have expected the kiss he laid on me, but I didn't. What I did expect was the feeling it gave me. The feeling of love, desire, contentment, joy and promise all mixed into a kiss. The touch off his lips was passionate but not built on lust. He pressed the perfect amount to tell me that this wasn't a 'welcome home' type kiss. It was a kiss that said I love you.

I was aware of half the room staring at us as we kissed for several minutes. I suddenly felt bad, stealing Peyton's night away from her. I broke off the kiss but took his hand. He pulled me against him-as I'd always done I fit myself into him perfectly, inhaling his scent and feeling his hard stomach. I felt him rest his chin on the top of my head and felt his arms around me. I wanted to tell him I loved him. Because I did, and I was more sure than ever that we could make our marriage work. But breaking the silence would mean breaking the moment-the perfect, loving moment that I wanted to last forever.

I pulled away after several more minutes but kept his hand in mine. Silently I led him to the fire escape, a place often used at Tric nights for making out. I sat down on one of the uncomfortable steps and leaned against him.

"Are you really here?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"I don't think I can handle you leaving ever again," he admitted.

"You'll never have to," I promised.

"Chris?"

"He's a jerk. You were right. He was possessive and controlling and presumptuous. He couldn't handle that I didn't want him," I said.

"So you never… with anyone?" he asked. His voice sounded hopeful. Could we really erase all the damage in one night on a fire escape?

"Never. Not so much as a touch," I said, running my hand through his spiky hair.

"Me either," he said. I laughed.

"Can we really make this work?"

"The only thing we can do is try," he said. I stood and began my way down the fire escape.

I still had our apartment key in my purse and I unlocked the door. The wedding wall was gone. My keyboard was gone. The Andy Warhol pictures Peyton had drawn were even gone. The walls were covered in sickly bubblegum pink, the floor in candy wrappers and waste. I winced. This was my fault.

"If I'd known you were coming…" he said apologetically.

"It's okay. We'll paint tomorrow. We'll even get Peyton into decorate," I said.

"She might be kind of busy," he reminded me.

"I wonder if they can make it work?" I said.

"They will. Once they realize how great it is," he said. I turned to him. I leaned up and our lips met again. Passionately.

"Maybe we can talk tomorrow?" I suggested. His hands found mine.

"Whenever," he said. We made our way to the bedroom.

Nathan was no less beautiful in the moonlight than he'd been a year ago. We'd had pain, we'd had lies. Had they really made us stronger. I shivered. I moved closer to him as our old habits came back to us-after a night of what we'd just done and even on innocent nights I'd rested my head on his shoulder, he'd wrapped his arm around me and I'd cuddle into him, my arm across his stomach. He claimed he liked this. Did he really? In his sleep, his hold on me tightened.

"Didn't we used to have curtains in here?" I grumbled as I awoke. We were in the same positions as we'd been the night before.

"They were too frilly," he said.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked him. I could tell by the clock on the wall that I was almost noon.

"Hours. I'd forgotten how beautiful you are when you sleep," he said. I blushed. He loved to make me blush.

"Last night was incredible," I said after a silence. I felt his nod on my hair.

"If we can make this work, Hales, we could have a lifetime of 'last night's," he said.

"A lifetime of all I want. All I'll ever want," I promised.

"You've given up on being a rockstar?" he asked. He knew how much it meant to me-this time, I knew, that even if I'd wanted to continue my career we could find a way around it. But there was nothing I wanted less.

"I've had my fill. I've got money now, and I could live without the press. I'm all yours," I said, rolling over onto him.

We were eating breakfast when my phone rang. It surprised me, how he managed to live with almost completely bare cupboards.

Anyway. My phone was ringing.

"Mr. And Mrs. Nathan Scott," he said, reaching into my bag and answering it. He winked and I grinned. I'd forgotten how nice that was. I heard a shriek through the phone and he held it away from his ear.

"Brooke?" I mouthed. He nodded as she shrieking continued and I held my hand out for it.

"Brooke!" I yelled as I held it to my ear. She sobered down quickly.

"As soon as we've dealt with Peyton you have to give us every dirty detail," she said.

"Dealt with Peyton?" I said worriedly. Nathan looked up and frowned.

"She left early, like just after you did and she hasn't been picking up her phone. And I'm at school and Jake's at school but she's AWOL. And I know this is lame, but I've got a test and I can't get down there," explained Brooke.

"I'll go," I said quickly.

"Thanks," she said gratefully.

"But can't you just ask Jake?" I asked her.

"You'd think. But he's like completely out off it. All distant and cold. Did they have a fight, do you think? He was being adorable when they were here, but she was…" Brooke trailed off. Staring at Luke? I'd noticed, too. I hoped Jake hadn't.

"I have to go to Peyton's," I said regretfully, hanging up the phone. I know I needed to be with her, to comfort her. But my heart yearned to be with him.

"I'll drive you," he said. We walked out and climbed into the car that Nathan and Keith had fixed up soon after we'd married.

He turned on the CD player as we began to drive. Out came my voice-crooning one of my songs from my last album. Hastily he turned it off.

"This one doesn't have Chris on it, does it?" I asked, laughing.

"Hey, I missed you," he said. I'd gotten the impression that my name hadn't been mentioned in his presence or by him in a year-and he had my CD in his stereo?

Peyton's car was in the driveway. I sprang out and ran up to the door.

"Peyton?" I called as I entered the house. Uncharacteristically, I couldn't hear music being blasted from her room.

Her room was empty. I could tell it had been slept in, but I could only tell that his side had been touched. I heard a cough from the bedroom across the hall.

She was back in bed, curled up like a little girl. Slipping off my shoes I joined her. She turned around to face me.

"Hey," I said. Her sad, puffy red eyes looked into mine.

"Hey," she answered.

"What happened to you?" I asked softly.

"Well let's just say it wasn't exactly a wedding night to remember," she said.

"What do you mean? You're not a virgin," I said. She sighed.

"Okay I'll tell you what happened. He carried me very romantically into the house and we began kissing on the sofa. Then I noticed Jenny wasn't around and was informed that she was with her grandparents. Why? Because apparently people enjoy a certain level of intimacy on their freaking wedding night!" she said angrily. I searched for the part where sense came in.

"People do enjoy a certain level of intimacy on their wedding night," I said.

"I know! But I just got so scared, you know? Consummation made it so real. And wedding night is such a wedding thing to do and I've kind of been pretending it didn't really happen," she said. I sighed and reached for her left hand. Her ruby twinkled on it.

"Look at that, Peyton. It happened. You're going to have to accept that. And he's a great guy," I said.

"So on your wedding night… you…?" she asked. She didn't say anything, but I understood what she meant.

"On the night before he met me outside in the rain-remember that? And then we went back to his apartment and he took off his shirt and he was so wet. And then I just looked at him and it hit me that I was crazy for waiting so I took off my shirt and I was wearing this camisole he'd bought me, and then we just… did. And then we decided to get married," I answered. I though fondly of the time.

"You two are totally getting back together," she said.

"We already are," I said. She smiled.

"That's so great. So I guess you were the only one that got action on my wedding night?" she said. I wrinkled my nose at her.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked her.

"Do you think he'll understand if I make him wait?" she asked. I considered this.

"No. But I think he'll accept it, because he loves you," I answered.

3


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

_This chapter dedicated to my loyalists-tardychick, heather dawn, lysser8312, bibleboymary4ever, ali-chan1, and Princessbm. You've all reviewed more than once and I love you for it. Sorry if I forgot someone's name!_

"I can't believe you're not mad," I said. We were on my bed. I was sitting between his legs, and Jenny was in my lap.

"If I was mad I'd be an asshole," he said.

"So you don't mind waiting?" I clarified.

"Not exactly. I thought I was lucky to have a beautiful, talented, sexy, brilliant girl friend, but I don't know how you got to be my wife," he said. I laughed. Jenny laughed as well.

"I don't deserve you," I said.

"You kidding? A year ago you were a cheerleader dating Nathan and Lucas Scott, the two best players. I was one of those small, insignificant players that people never focus on. And even if I was able and desiring to go the parties you got invited to, I wasn't invited. Everyone admired you, you were the only girl on the squad that cared about anything besides their appearance. I just got lucky, not you," he said.

Right then would have been the perfect time. Jenny was dozing off-I could have dumped her in her crib, taken him across the hall and consummate my heart out.

"One thing though?" he said, as I began to relax, my eyelids fluttering.

"What?" I asked sleepily.

"Just let me in sometimes?" he asked. I twisted around to look at him. Had he actually just said that? Was he deaf. He noticed my expression and his eyes widened.

"No! Not like that! In here, Pey," he said, placing his hand over my heart. I remembered Luke saying the same thing-before he'd turned to Brooke and then to Nikki. But Jake was different. I hoped.

I was careful to look away from him as I went to the bathroom to change. When I got back, he'd already stripped down to his boxers. He wasn't quite as built as Nathan had been, but I had a hard time looking at his stomach muscles and not staring. Jake, thankfully, didn't return the favour-he wasn't the kind of guy who spent his entire time leering, though his admiring glances made me feel beautiful when they did come.

I leaned against the door as he moved across the room to shut off a lamp. He also bent down and began to quickly organize the papers on my desk-he was always doing things like that. I giggled.

"Hey, Nathan and Haley got back together," I said.

"I kind of figured-neither of them were in school today," he said. "How did it happen?"

"Well remember how they kissed after she sang? Then they went outside and she told him that she didn't want to be a star anymore and then they went home and talked some more and then they… you know," I said, blushing.

"Had a bit of a reunion special?" he asked. I nodded and looked at my bare feet.

"Oh, Brooke was concerned about you today-have you talked to her lately?" he asked.

"No-but she sent Haley over in her stead, so it's okay. Um, can I ask you something?"

"Another thing, you mean? Sure," he said easily, picking up one of his shirts and tossing it into the drawer.

"What are we going to do next year?"

"Well you'll go to Duke, I won't, I'll take care of Jenny and you'll come home in the evenings and I'll try to work my way through when I can," he said.

"Do you think you can handle her all the time? Do you think we can handle having such different lives?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "Can I ask you something?"

"You mean another thing?" I said saucily.

"Can we talk about our histories?" he asked. I nodded slowly and went to sit beside him on the bed.

"Well there was Nathan. And then there was you," I said. He laughed.

"Elaborate? Please?"

"Fine. I got my first kiss in grade eight by Greg Carter, then I dated um Stephen Wells and then Nathan, and I lost my virginity to Nathan and then Lucas I came close but never did and then Anna kissed me and then you did," I said. I didn't have a very long history.

"Anna?" he asked.

"Please don't go there," I requested. He shrugged.

"Okay. Don't worry, it's not actually that bad. So in grade nine I lost it to Daria Hoffman, then there was Theresa, then Alanna Kortright, who you don't know," he said.

"And then Nikki?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Huh. You slept with Theresa?" I asked. He nodded.

"Also too good for me," he said. I leaned against him-he smelt like soap. _My_ _husband_, I reminded myself.

"Well, no bloodshed there," I said.

"What?"

"Oh… you know how Nathan was more active than Haley before they were married?" I asked. He groaned.

"Please stop talking about Nathan and sex. I keep picturing you," he said.

"Well it turns out that he-who-must-not-be-named lost his virginity to Haley's sister when he saw a freshman and her sister was a senior," I said.

"Wow. Who knew little towns were so dramatic?" he asked, flopping backwards onto the bed.

"It's time to go to sleep," I said decidedly, climbing into my side of the bed.

"Just a second-I have to go turn off my phone," he said. He moved across the room again and turned off his cell. He was about to turn back, but picked one last piece of paper off the ground. He studied it, and turned around to face me. He affixed me with a hurt puppy dog look. I squinted at the paper-it was my most recent sketch.

"Jake that doesn't mean anything," I said, leaping from the bed and snatching it from him.

"No, I think it does. These are you how you say what you mean-of course it means something. I didn't mean forever? What did you mean, Peyton? That's you. And me. Is that Nikki?" he asked.

"I'm just scared to trust you, Jake," I said. I was beginning to tear up.

"You're wearing your ring in this. So what do you mean? That this isn't forever? This would have made a lot more sense if you'd drawn it a week ago. But you drew it last night. Our wedding night, Peyton!" he said. Why did I have to date my drawings?

"I'm trying to work on it!" I cried.

"Do you really trust me so little? Do really mean that little to you? You don't have to love me, it would be incredible if we could figure out how to be husband and wife within two days but can't you trust me? I've always tried so hard to keep from hurting you," he said.

"And you've never hurt me. But I thought Lucas would never hurt me and then I let him in and he broke my heart," I explained.

"Luke isn't a guide for all of us. What is it with you and him, anyway?" he asked.

"Nothing. We've just always connected," I said.

"Connected?"

"Yeah, like you and me," I said, taking a step closer. I ran a finger down his cheek.

"Don't."

"Are you mad at me?" I asked.

"I'm confused. I love you," he said.

"Stop _saying_ that," I said angrily, stalking out of the room and down the stairs.

"Stop running away! Where are you going?" he asked, staring at me in my pajamas and flip-flops, my car keys in hand.

"Out. I've got my cell I'll be back in time for _curfew_," I said bitingly, running out the door.

I turned my car towards downtown, the only place nearby where everyone wouldn't be asleep. People were loitering on street corners. As my car passed through the bad parts of town, hookers hung out, waving.

Suddenly I hit the brakes. On the corner I saw a familiar face-long dark hair, silver hoop earring, eyes encircled in eyeliner. I parked and climbed out.

"Nikki?" I asked. The energy had long since been drained out of my voice. She turned on me.

"Hey, it's the babysitter! Isn't it time for bed?" she asked, indicating my flannel pants.

"I guess you've got a few more hours until you're finished your shift though," I said. She glared and pushed me backwards.

"I'm not going to fight you Nikki," I said.

"Then what are you doing here? My baby kick you out?" she asked.

"Gathering evidence," I guess. She rolled her eyes.

"Right. Like they're really going to listen to the girlfriend. Go home to my leavings."

"You're right for once, Nikki. Most likely they wouldn't listen to his girlfriend. However, I have a hunch that they'd listen to his wife," I said, holding up my left hand.

"Liar," she said, her voice dripping with menace. In a flash she'd reached into her clutch and pulled out a switch knife. She flicked it open expertly. "Ready to tell the truth?"

Author's note-Y'all ready for this?


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

I backed off as the held the knife threateningly in the direction of my heart. The street was otherwise empty-not even a car passed by.

"So you ready to tell the truth now?" she asked.

"You're insane. You're an insane murdering hooker. And you argue that you should be entrusted with a baby?"

"Jenny loves me. I'm her mother, she should go to me," claimed Nikki, advancing on me.

"You're not her mother. If you were her mother, why would she call me mommy?"

"Now I thought we understood my feelings on lies. I guess you are as dumb as you look," she said.

"She's forgotten you. She doesn't care about you. She has a family and if for some insane reason she went to you she'd never become attached to you," I taunted. It was a stupid thing to say. Nikki had a knife. Nikki might be severely unhinged.

"I'm warning you…" she said.

"Yeah, stabbing me is a good idea. That'll really help," I said. She lunged at me. I took a step backward and fell off the curb. She was standing over me. I closed my eyes.

"Hey, how much for a night?" came a voice. A familiar voice. Her expression instantly turned from murderous to pleased.

"Well well. Look who came back," she said. My eyes came fully open and I stared.

"Luke?" I said. He didn't even glance in my direction.

"Kinky," he said, indicating the scene.

"For your viewing pleasure," she said, waltzing to his car. He opened the door for her and got in himself.

"Luke what the hell are you doing?" I asked. As he fastened his seat belt I heard his car honk twice.

Suddenly the dark street corner swung into action. A police car swerved in front of Luke's truck, a homeless man I hadn't noticed tore off his blanket, revealing his uniform. I backed up against the brick wall of a building as Luke got out of the car and the officer forcibly pulled out Nikki.

"What's going on?" she asked

"Nicole Turner-you are under arrest for threatening behavior, prostitution, and…" he trailed off as he patted her down and drew a package from her pocket. "Possession of an illegal substance. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a Court of law," he said. He took the switch knife from her purse, handcuffed her and led her to the police car. Luke ran to me.

"What was that?" I asked, shivering. He wrapped his arms around me and tucked me under his chin. It didn't occur to me how vastly inappropriate his touch was.

"I followed you. I called the cops when I saw Nikki pull a knife on you and this was the only way I could think of to stop her before they got here. Are you alright?" I nodded.

"My arm twinges a bit. So you just followed me and then came here and saved my life? How?" I asked.

"I was driving around and I saw you head downtown at midnight. Of course I was concerned for you," he said. I drew away and looked into his eyes again.

"Thank you," I said softly.

In synchronization he leaned down and I went up on my toes. Our lips met with the same passion that they'd always had. His hands slid down to my hips and held me as mine wove around his neck. He felt so right. He pushed harder against my mouth and it opened of its own accord.

"Uh miss? We're going to need to take you to the station for questioning. And you as well, sir," he said. I pulled away and took three steps back. He quickly closed the distance.

"It's okay," he said again.

"Of course it isn't," I said. I turned to the cop and nodded.

"Your name please?" he asked.

"Peyton Sawyer," I said.

"Peyton Jagielski," reminded Luke. The officer looked between us, confused, as we climbed into the car. Luke and I exchanged glances.

"Peyton Sawyer," I said again.

"Lucas Scott," he said.

We rode in silence the rest of the way to the station. When we reached it, they escorted us inside and sat us down, interrogating. Nikki was nowhere in sight.

"You have had previous relations with Nicole Turner?" demanded the officer of Luke.

"I met her a year ago. And yes, we had relations. Once. This was before I was aware of her occupation," he said awkwardly.

"And you?" he asked.

"There's a trial going on between Jake Jagielski and her involving the custody of their child. I'm her mother, in a way, though Nikki is her birth mother, so she resents me," I said simply.

"Yes, we got into contact with Jake Jagielski. He'll be here shortly," said the officer. I nodded and glanced guiltily at Luke. "So before Mr. Scott arrived, what happened?"

"Well I was driving and I noticed Nikki and I got out and we talked a little bit and then I said something that displeased her and she pulled her knife on me and then we exchanged more words and then Luke came along and pretended to pick up Nikki and she backed away from me immediately and then you guys showed up," I said.

"What did you say to her?" asked the cop. I opened my mouth and closed it again. Deep down I hoped that it was possible that the cops would never find out that I was married.

As I opened my mouth again the door opened. I turned around-Jake. I stood up and walked toward him. As I did, unshed tears began to fall. I'd been crying so much in the last few days I was surprised that I had tears left.

He met me in the middle of the room and I went into his arms, crying. He held me tightly and lovingly for someone who I'd have an argument with an hour previously.

"Mr. Jagielski?" asked the cop. Jake took one arm from me, kept the other around me and shook his hand. I curled inward to him.

"What is Nicole Turner to you?" he asked. Hadn't he just asked me that? Hadn't I answered?

"We had a baby two years ago and she ran off a month later. I didn't see her again until nine months later when she showed up and tried to force her way into Jenny's life and shortly afterwards I left for Savannah and when I came back we began a trial for Jenny's custody," he said. The officer glanced down at a file.

"So Jennifer Jagielski is your daughter. And Miss Sawyer?" he asked. Jake glanced down at me in surprise.

"My wife," he said. His wife-he'd never said that before.

"Your wife. Your name is officially what?" he asked me.

"Peyton Sawyer," I said again. The cop continued to look between the three of us, saying nothing. _Stay silent_ I begged him.

"Okay. Just a few more questions now," he said.

The few more questions lasted another two hours, at which point it was revealed that Nikki would stand trial and the Jenny trial would likely be postponed until Nikki finished her jail sentence.

"I can't believe Nikki was a prostitute," I said as the three of us exited the station.

"I can't believe you're alive," said Jake, kissing the top of my head.

"Luke's fault," I said. Jake turned to him. For the first time in two hours he removed his arms from me and I shivered in their absence as he and Luke hugged. I met Luke's eyes guiltily over his shoulder. How could I tell Jake what had happened in the alley? How could I ever forget it?

"Thanks man," said Jake finally.

"Can we go home now?" I asked. Jake's car was parked in front.

"Yeah. Guess you need a ride?" asked Jake of Luke.

"Yeah, just to my car," he said, getting into the backseat. I got into the passenger side and stared out the window into the night.

"Where's Jenny? I asked finally as we neared Nikki's territory.

"I called Karen," said Jake guiltily.

"Can't believe she came over in the middle of the night to take care of her," I said.

"She didn't come alone, either," said Jake, laughing.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You'll see. Luke we'll see you tomorrow," said Jake. I turned away from Luke as he got out of the car and into his own.

The house was dark as we arrived at it, but the day was beginning to brighten. As he walked out and I joined him, I stumbled. As I tried to get up, my arms gave away. I gave away to pure and complete exhaustion I'd barely slept in three nights.

He crouched down and for the second time hoisted me into his arms. I couldn't even bring myself to wrap mine around his neck, so he just pulled me in and I rested my head on his arm.

As he walked past my dad's room, I glimpsed two figures-one was Karen, sleeping. The other beside her I didn't completely recognize-but at last I registered him-Keith Scott, Luke's uncle. He'd always been madly in love with her. I would have cheered if I had had the energy to open my mouth.

He set me down on the bed and took my shoes off, covering me up carefully as my eyelids began to flutter. I barely registered him sliding into bed beside me and holding me before I finally gave away to sleep.

The sun shining through the window was bright when I awoke. In the day, the drama of the night before seemed so much less. I stretched out and yawned, noticing with surprise that Jake wasn't still there.

I must have made some kind of noise because Karen quickly came in, leading Jenny by the hand.

"Mommy!" she said excitedly, clambering onto the bed.

"Hey Peyton. Jake wanted to stay with you but then you kept not waking up so I made him leave," she said. That didn't make sense-it was obviously before school, seeing as Jenny hadn't left yet. I glanced at my watch and yelped.

"It's five thirty? How did I sleep for like fifteen hours?" I asked.

"You haven't been sleeping. I've been worried about you," she said, pushing a curl away from my face. "How's it going between you two?"

"It's okay I guess. He's incredible-but I keep backing away from him. I'm so horrible to him and he always forgives me. And we did it the night I got back from New York but we haven't… since then," I said awkwardly. She raised her eyebrows.

"Your wedding night?" she inquired.

"I freaked out. But I think we'll be okay-for some reason he doesn't flip when I bitch at him," I said.

"And that's all? Nothing else bad?" she asked. Jenny, still slightly woozy from her afternoon nap, was leaning against me.

"Nothing really," I said, looking away.

"So you didn't kiss Lucas or anything," she said.

"He kissed me!" I claimed.

"He said it was mutual," she said calmly.

"It just happened. It was an emotional time," I said lamely.

"It's not my business, so I'll keep my mouth shut. But you owe it to Jake, no matter what you do feel or don't feel for Lucas!" she said. I nodded.

"Yeah. So um is there anything you want to tell me?" I asked. She blushed.

"I guess you saw? We've been getting closer lately, like we were before his proposal and it made me understand why I can never make it work with a man," she said. Like my father-she and him used to date. And she'd been there with another man.

"That's so great. Luke's going to be thrilled," I said. She smiled.

"He already is. I think I am, too. Ready to get up?" she asked. I nodded and sat up.

"Oh, and Peyton. You and Jake have, right? Before?" she asked. I nodded. She looked decidedly confused.

_Author's note: I just realized I haven't given Brooke her romance yet. So to all you Brooke fans, it's coming. And is anyone mad at me for this chapter? Wow, you guys are reviewing like crazy! Thanks and keep it up!_


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

"Did you hear? That Nikki girl…"

"Threatened her with a knife!"

"Lucas Scott saved her."

"Her and Lucas? Again?"

"But what about Jake?"

"She looks fatter. Maybe she's pregnant. Maybe it's Lucas's!"

Whispers followed me all of the next day getting gradually more outrageous at my first day of Tree Hill High in weeks.

I hoped the sight of me and Jake together, my hand in his would help dispel the rumours but it only seemed to fuel them.

"You're not pregnant, right?" he asked, accompanied with a laugh.

"She's with Lucas now," said a cheerleader going past us. Surprising me, he laughed again.

"Come here," he said, I turned to him. I quickly realized what he had in mind.

As our bodies pressed together and he hit me with a passionate kiss all I could feel was guilt. I hadn't even planned on letting him kiss me until I figured out my feelings for him and for Lucas.

We kissed until the bell broke it off. I took his hand

"Are you happy now? Any questions?" he asked the staring hallway.

I could fell his stare on the back of my neck without turning around.

"God you guys are getting sickeningly cute. I am now officially horny and lonely. Why is there no one out there?" she asked.

"Hey Brooke," said Mouth as we passed them.

"Hey Mouth," she said.

"So there's no one," I said.

"Well Nathan and Jake are now married and I've already done Lucas and all the rest of the varsity guys are gross or so yesterday. We need to get to college," she said fiercely.

"Right, that's what I'm going to spend my time at college doing," I said, laughing. He squeezed my hand.

"You'd better not," he said. He turned to me, ready to kiss as we'd just done, but I gave him a peck and turned back to Brooke.

"You could date someone unpopular," I said. I hoped she'd take the hint.

"Or someone older!" she said excitedly. Had she even heard me?

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" asked Lucas, coming up behind us. Jake and I both turned around-Luke was looking at me. I nodded and tried to smile.

"Sure. I'll be right back," I promised Jake, dropping his hand.

"I think I'm still in love with you," he confessed when we were alone.

"Well, sucks to be you," I said. He looked at me and did his search.

"So you don't have any feelings for me?" he asked.

"You had sex with Nikki the night after I broke up with you!" I said in annoyance.

"Answer my question?" he said.

"Any feelings I have for you are only memories. People always say 'a girl never forgets her first love'. It doesn't mean she wants to be with him, or give up on her husband," I said, dropping my gaze.

"Oh, so you love Jake?" he asked.

"Why are you being like this?" I asked.

"Like an ass! Here's the deal: you forget, I forget, Jake never knows and you stop going crying to your mom," I said harshly, exiting.

Brooke and Jake were where I'd left them.

"What was that?" asked Jake amiably, taking my hand.

"Nothing," I said. Brooke glanced over. She noted my flushed cheeks and my façade of a calm look. Her eyes widened.

"Hey Brooke, I think I lost my lip gloss. Hey, let's go look for it," I said. Jake raised an eyebrow as I hauled her off.

"You kissed Lucas!" she exclaimed as soon as we were out of earshot.

"Just once," I said miserably. In my mind I calculated-she'd very likely tell Haley, who'd certainly tell Nathan who'd almost certainly tell Jake because of that weird solidarity thing.

"I can't believe you! You have a hottie like Jake and then you go and kiss your ex, who doesn't even have hair anymore?" she demanded. "Wow, did that ever come out wrong."

"It was a stupid mistake. I was all emotional and he'd just rescued me or whatever. And it just happened! It didn't mean anything!" I said.

"Do you remember what happened last time you let him in?" she asked.

"He broke my heart," I admitted.

"Yeah, he broke your heart. But first he broke mine. Then he broke yours, and then he went and broke yours again. This is why you stay with guys like Jake! He'll take care of your heart!" she said.

"Why can't you get together with a guy like that?" I asked spitefully.

"Shut up."

"Okay. So if you really think it's never going to happen again I won't tell Tutor-Wife, but please don't mess up what you have," she said, hugging me. "I love you, you know that?"

"Me too," I said. Arm in arm we went back to Jake who was beginning to look thoroughly mystified.

"It's all better now," I promised.

"Whitey and Jenny play ball," informed Jenny as I went to his office after school. I glanced at him for clarification.

"Jenny went to basketball practice with me. She's a natural," he claimed proudly.

"Thanks Whitey," I said. I turned to.

"Sit down, Mrs. Jagielski," he instructed. I sat on the chair across from him.

"How are you three doing?" he asked.

"It's hard," I admitted.

"The first year is hard. It's worth it though, to be able to share your life with someone you love," he said. I nodded.

"And that Mrs. Jagielski thing-I haven't even decided like that. I'm rather used to being Peyton Sawyer," I said.

"Back when I married Camilla women always did, but it's your choice, of course. Jake would like it. And this one, too," he said, indicating Jenny who was on his knee.

"Maybe," I said. He nodded as I stood up and Jenny came over to me.

The halls were still relatively full as we walked through them. People stopped and waved to Jenny, who waved back.

"Peyton!" said a high, cheery voice suddenly, stepping in front of me. Bevin, one of Brooke's cheerleaders.

"Bevin, hey," I said.

"Mommy!" ordered Jenny, tugging on my hand. Bevin glanced down at her as Theresa joined us.

"Guess you really like taking care of her!" said Bevin brightly. I frowned.

"Of course I do. But do you know what this is?" I asked, bringing a flat, square object out of my purse.

"It's called a condom, and it stops pregnancy. So will you please tell anyone who cares that I'm not pregnant?" I demanded.

"Obviously, seeing as you're pre-menstrual," said Brooke, coming up behind us.

We left together. As we reached her car, both of us burst into laughter.

"That is going to be everywhere before tomorrow," she said.

"Well at least it'll replace the rumours of my infidelity and pregnancy," I said.

"Which is crazy, seeing as you and Jake haven't done it yet," she said, backing out of her parking spot.

"Brooke!" I said, scandalized.

"What? It's obvious!" she said innocently. I rolled my eyes.

I was surprised when she stopped the car in front of Nathan's apartment. Nathan and Haley's apartment now.

"They're painting," she explained. "They were hoping we'd help."

We walked in without knocking. If they were painting we'd have seen the immediately-besides the bedroom and the bathroom, the apartment was one large room. Sheets lined the floor and tins of cream coloured paint were open atop the sheets.

"Haley?" I called. I heard a shriek from the bedroom, and a thump. Brooke and I exchanged wide-eyed looks as I picked up a frying pan from the kitchen counter and advanced to the bedroom.

"Peyton!" said Haley in exasperation as I burst through the door, frying pan in hand. Nathan quickly rolled off her and jumped up. Haley hastily covered herself in a sheet.

"I thought you were expecting us!" I said. "I thought you were being molested!" I said in my defense.

"Well, I wasn't. Nathan, cover up," she advised. I glanced at him and quickly glanced away.

"Whatever. Been there, done that. We'll meet you outside in five minutes," I said, backing out. Brooke was laughing and I cracked up as well.

"All I can say is that I'm glad I've already had sex with Nathan because if I hadn't, that would have been scaring," I said, walking over to the wall and picking up a paintbrush.

"You wouldn't believe the rumours at school," I said an hour later. Haley sent me a look.

"That you're pregnant? Yeah, I would," she said, glaring at Brooke.

"It made sense at the time!" said Brooke defensively.

"Well you can't be pregnant," said Haley. "Seeing as…"

"Haley!"

"Seeing as Jagielski isn't getting any?" asked Nathan, turning back to the wall he was painting.

"How did you know that?" asked Brooke.

"Brooke!"

"You should have seen him the next day! I was a lot happier the day after my wedding," he said.

"Nathan!" this time it was Haley who exclaimed his name.

"So I heard Lucas picked up a hooker," said Haley, abandoning the painting and jumping onto the counter.

"Nikki's a hooker. He pretended to pick her up and she pulled a knife on me and then we all went to the police office," I said, explaining the simplified version.

"And then you made out with Luke," said Haley innocently, swinging her hanging legs.

"Haley!" I cried.

"How did you know?" asked Brooke.

"How did _you_ know?" asked Nathan and Haley at the same time.

"It was freakin' obvious."

"Well Luke told me and we tell each other everything," said Nathan. I made a frustrated noise.

"It doesn't matter," I said.

"Of course it matters. A kiss broke up our marriage," said Nathan.

"That was _two_ kisses and no switch knives were involved," I said bitterly. Nathan rounded on Haley.

"Two?"

"Peyton shut up!" said Haley.

"TWO?"

"She came back, why does it matter?" asked Brooke. "And come on, we're getting you home so you can stop ruining people's marriages." She scooped up Jenny from the floor and led me outside.

"I can't believe you said that," she said.

"It just came out. Why am I being so horrible lately? And why are you guys putting up with me?" I asked her.

"Because we love you sweetie. And deep down, I think it might be possible that you love us right back."

_Author's note: It is at this point that I must make a confession. It is Easter break which is why I am able to stay up into the wee small hours, adding chapters. I have to go back to school tomorrow (I'm in high school.) And I will continue to add chapters, but brace yourself for waits. But you know what will inspire me to add chapters? Reviews! You guys are incredible with that. There are maybe four or five more chapters left, and either a Naley spinoff or a sequel in plan. Preferences?_


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

"Get up," said Jake a week later.

"What?"

"Up up up," he said, pulling away the comforter.

"Why?" I asked as I stood.

"Because you've spent too much time in bed lately. And I know you're not pregnant and fairly sure you're not sick so I figure it's because you're sad and I don't like that. And you're getting thinner again and I'm getting worried about you," he said.

"Okay."

"So we're going out. Grab a swimsuit. Dropped Jenny of at the Café-Karen and Keith were making out when I got there-and we have all day," he said. I smiled and pulled a brush through my hair.

"Okay," I said again, walking to the bureau and pulling out a bikini before darting to the door to change in the bathroom.

After we'd stopped sleeping together (though we still slept in the same bed) I'd stopped changing in front of him. Gradually, in the last week, I'd begun to hide from his kisses. This was necessary if I wanted to also hide from Lucas's, who was still pursuing me.

The two of us sped away in my car. May was quickly giving way to June. Our finals were over, attending school was no longer necessary. Soon would be prom and the basketball final. Soon I'd have to spend all day with Jake and finally start to be actually married.

We ended up at the beach. On a summer day or on the weekend it would have been packed but on that Friday morning it was virtually empty. We ditched our shoes and ran down the steps to the beach, collapsing in the warm sand.

He pulled of his shirt and was left in a pair of blue swimming shorts. Turning from him I pulled my t-shirt off my head and slipped my skirt down.

I turned back. His eyes, so long kept from my body, took a long, admiring gaze

The string bikini was black. The top part covered only enough to remain descent and relatively covered but showed off as well as it could. The black bikini bottoms were low and small.

I hadn't chosen the suit on purpose but I was glad I had. His gaze stayed fast on me, greedily taking in the sight. While he was occupied I took a long glance at his firm stomach muscles-they were still nice.

By the time I glanced back I noted that he was still staring. I snapped by fingers in front of his eyes. He glanced into mine and laughed.

"Do you think the ocean works as well as a cold shower?" he asked. I giggled and reached for his hand.

"Definitely."

We ran, screaming into the cold, salty sea. We ran out to our waists (my waist, his thighs) in the water and gripped each other's hands as a huge wave came and pulled us up from the sandy bottom. I tightly shut my eyes and mouth as sea water seeped in and soaked my hair.

We braced ourselves as another wave came crashing against us and then a third. Around my feet I could see shells and even occasionally a crab would scuttle by. We spent half an hour in this way, laughing and shouting at each other over the waves.

We were out of breath as we collapsed onto the sandy beach. The sun was hot on my back-I dug into the bag he'd bought for sunscreen lotion and began to slather my arms, legs and exposed stomach with lotion and finishing with my face. I handed him to the bottle after I was done.

"Do my back?" I asked, turning away from him.

"Are you trying to do this to me Pey?" he said, laughing and joining me on the ground.

I cringed as he untied the back of my bathing suit to spread the lotion properly and held it up with my arms. I smiled as he tied it back up and finished with my back. It was incredible that after two weeks he wasn't pressuring me in the slightest, yet managed to make me feel attractive enough to show that he wanted to.

"Don't you want to tan?" he asked as he tossed the bottle back into the bag. Obviously he had less concern for the matter than I did.

"I _don't_ tan. And even if he did I like the though of noting dying of skin cancer," I retorted. He laughed.

I spread a towel out and rolled onto it. I closed my eyes and folded my hands across the stomach as the sun's rays hit me. For the first time in weeks I felt completely relaxed-I didn't even feel relaxed in bed any more.

"What are you doing?" I heard him ask.

"Just because I don't want to tan doesn't mean I don't like the sun. It's nice," I explained, not bothering to open my eyes.

"Okay." I vaguely heard him settle down somewhere near my feet as I gave away to the relaxation.

After an hour I propped myself up on my elbows and looked over at him. He was sculpting a large sand castle with his hands and was beginning to decorate it with seashells.

"Well, haven't you been a busy boy!" I said brightly. He laughed.

"I used to come here all the time when I was a kid," he said.

"I did, before Mom died," I said.

"That must have been hard for you," he said. I nodded-I barely ever talked about it.

"That's Nathan's parent's beach house," I said, pointing to the largest one on the beach. Jake glanced at it, his eyes traveling from the elaborate wood staircase and walkway that led to the large porch.

"It's nice. Have you ever been there?" he asked. I laughed.

"Dude, I've spent the night there," I said. I crawled over to where he was.

"Why did I have to ask?" he asked the sky. Why did I have to bring up sensitive issues like that?

"I'll give you a lolly if you go get me a drink," I said brightly, playing on the sandcastle joke. He leaned across and tickled the bare expanse of skin my bathing suit left. I jumped up and stepped a few steps backwards, shrieking with laughter. He jumped up too and followed me. Shrieking playfully I turned to run across the beach. I heard him follow me quickly as I sped up.

He caught up with me in twenty feet and threw an arm around my waist, pulling me to him. He threatened to tickle me again as I fell backwards on the beach.

He dropped down too. He crawled over until he was directly atop me and attacked my exposed skin. I squirmed and giggled but his strong arms on either side of me refused exit. He stopped only when I opened my eyes and gazed into his green flecked brown ones. With a gentle finger he pushed a damp curl from my face and admired me.

"You're so beautiful," he said, leaning down. I stared as his lips approached mine. I wanted to kiss him again, so badly.

I turned away just as he reached me and his lips met my hair. He stood again, and towered over me. He offered me his hand, and I pulled myself up on it. He dropped my hand and didn't take my waist or put his arms across my shoulders.

His cell was ringing as we neared our spot on the beach and he sprinted to answer it. He talked for three minutes before hanging up. He turned to me.

"My lawyer-Nikki's been sentenced to three years with no chance of bail," he said. He held out his arms as I leapt into them. We twirled around.

"That's so great," I said. Both of us knew that even after she got out, and the trial continued, we'd win. There was no way they'd chose Nikki, the single hooker, over Jake the married working dad.

We were still in a festive mood that night as we arrived back in town so we didn't go back-we drove to the local bar.

I used my fake ID to buy us each a beer. We clinked glasses, speaking easily of light topics.

"I guess we're going to have to go find a place to live sometime," he said. I frowned reflectively. Besides missing staying in the house I'd always lived in, getting a place with him would make us seem so much more married than living at my father's house.

"Yeah," I said softly.

"Maybe by the beach?" he suggested. I smiled at him.

As we finished our drinks we abandoned the glass on the counter and walked to the empty pool table and set up the balls in the triangle.

"Ha! Kicked your ass," I said happily half an hour later, after I'd sunk all the balls. He put an arm across my shoulders and moved to me, kissing the top of my head.

"Yeah," he said happily.

Brooke was sitting on the steps when we arrived in front of the house. Her expression was alarmed and shocked, and I ran to her in alarm. I took both of her hands and she looked at me in surprise.

"I just slept with Mouth," she revealed.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

_This chapter is dedicated most definitely to lysser8312, who wanted this update tonight. She encouraged me to do so-otherwise I would have gone to bed._

"Do you want me to wait up for you?" he asked. I detected a shred of hope in his voice and stared at him for a beat.

"No. You go, I might be a while. Go, sleep," I instructed. He went up the stairs as I led Brooke into the kitchen and sat her down.

"Tell me everything," I told her. She still looked shell shocked.

"It was so weird. He came over and we started to watch this movie because I'd seen him earlier that day and he seemed so lonely. So we were lying on my bed and I looked over at him and I just realized how great he was-and how I was so sure he'd never hurt me. And then I noticed how he wasn't really attractive but he'd not that hideous or anything and he's hardly even little anymore. He's grown, you know? He's kind of lanky. And so I was propped up on my elbow, looking at him and thinking about all this stuff and suddenly he looked back and he was like "what?" and I kind of moved closer and kissed him-like really kissed him-and it felt so good, and we know each other so well. And then what came next just seemed so natural," she said, a trace of happiness in her voice.

"And was it good?" I asked. She contemplated this.

"It's weird, you know? How sometimes you sleep with a guy and he knows how to do everything perfectly and when to start and makes you feel great, but your heart doesn't respond? Well Mouth wasn't like that-he was kind of awkward because I'm pretty sure he was a virgin. But he's just so right somehow," she said.

"And after you were done, what happened?" I asked greedily.

"Well we stopped and we kind of just lay for a little while-I think he was as surprised as I was. And then he just turned to face me. And he told me "I love you" and I knew it was true. Who knew he liked me?" she asked.

"Everyone! It was completely obvious! What did you say?" I asked.

"I think I said it back," she said.

"Is this a good thing?" I asked her.

"I don't know! I mean I think so-it was nice. But am I really ready to get involved with someone like him? And he might want more than I can give him. I've been doing no strings attached for so long, and he's the kind of guys who'd always want strings. Maybe he'd only want strings. I mean he's not exactly a ladies man. Maybe tonight was just a one time thing and after this he'll only want a real relationship. Can I handle that? And I'm moving away in like three months. And I'd planned on meeting lots of new guys there and doing lots of new things. So what could I do with a boyfriend to tie me down? But what if he doesn't want a relationship? What if he just wants sex? I don't think I've ever come out of a relationship and not been hurt. So what do I do?" she asked, dropping her head onto my lap. I pushed her straight dark hair away from her face.

"First you stop freaking out. Mouth is in love with you. He wants more than just sex, though I don't think you need to worry about him not wanting to have sex with you. And yes, you're ready to get involved with someone like him. I've been hinting for months that you should only get involved with guys like him," I said.

"Like you're one to talk. Nathan Scott, Lucas Scott and Jake Jagielski. Do you notice a trend here? And how did you know he liked me?"

"Didn't you ever wonder why he took you home from nightclubs? Why he always hung around you? Why you were his only female friend? How he always comforted you when you broke up with someone?" I asked.

"He was just being a friend," she said.

"No, he's always wanted to be more than that but hasn't pressed because he was so afraid you'd reject him. He's not like the guys you usually date, B. Davis," I said.

"Usually I notice an attraction, you know? Usually I fall for someone, go for them and they always turn out to go for me. But this was so surreal, so subtle," she said.

"I can't believe it actually happened. He must be so happy," I said.

"Yeah. Where were you today?" she asked.

"At the beach," I answered.

"You let him kiss you?" she asked

"He tried," I said sadly. "But good news! The lawyer called. The trial's been postponed because Nikki has to go to Utah to spend three years in an all female minimal security prison," I said excitedly. How had something that had taken up so much of our lives ended so quickly? She squealed in surprise and delight.

"That's so good! In three years Jenny'll be like five," she remarked. I jokingly covered my ears.

"Don't say things like that."

"Sorry. How will I face him tomorrow?" she asked me.

"You should talk to him. As soon as possible told him what you told me-how you think you might have hidden feelings for him and you think he's a great guy. I'm happy for you," I said fondly.

"I know. It's all coming together now-Haley and Nathan finally being married again, you _getting_ married, Karen and Keith getting together, Nikki going to a lesbo lockdown. Do I get my share in the happily ever afters?" she asked.

"Yeah. Oh, and have you heard from Nathan and Haley, speaking of which?" I asked. I flinched, remembering the things I'd said.

"Yeah, Haley called. Told me to tell you that everything's okay. And then she started giggling and dropped the phone-those two are sickening," she said.

"Like rabbits," I agreed.

"Well, someone's got to," she said sleepily. I poked her side and she giggled, lacking the energy to move away.

"You and Mouth. Huh. Do you think you'll start calling him _Marvin_?" I asked, giggling. She snorted.

"As if. No one does that. Oh, at school today! You missed it!" she said excitedly.

"What did I miss?"

"The ballot thingies came out! For Prom Queen and King! And guess who's nominated? It's completely predictable," she warned me.

"Lucas, and Nathan, you and me?" I asked her.

"Yeah. And Jake, and a few other people who aren't going to win," she said.

"Okay, I'm just going to say right now that I couldn't care less and honestly hope you win," I said.

"Good, because I will. But you and Jake-wouldn't that be way more romantic?" she asked.

_Author's note: I hope you aren't getting annoyed with my author's notes. Anyway. I've been thinking about the whole sequel/spinoff thing. The interest for a Naley spinoff is far greater but I'm more interested with a sequel. So I'm compromising-it will be a sequel to this based around Haley and Peyton and their partner people. I've just decided on the end. It's going to be awesome. Thanks for the reviews! Hope you like the Brooke/Mouth pairing!_


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

"No, you look better in blue," I said decidedly as Brooke waltzed through the dress store we were looking for our prom dresses in. She was wearing a slinky red dress with a thigh length slit up one leg.

"And you look fairly slutty," commented Haley.

"I can't believe you're talking to me," I said, turning to Haley.

"He'd have found out eventually," she said, shrugging. I knew she'd have been more angry if she and Nathan hadn't made up so eagerly.

"I think Mouth would like it though," she said regretfully. Haley and I changed stunned glances-in little more than a day she'd gone from halfway sure about him to completely committed.

"Here, try this one," I instructed her, handing her a violet blue dress, close to purple.

The halter tied dress was backless. The long, sweeping skirt ended gracefully at the floor, and despite the v shaped waistline there were few adornments. She pretended to look accepting about the beautiful dress.

"I guess it'll do," she said wistfully, twirling in front of the mirror, hiding her bare feet.

"Brooke you do know hot you look, right?" I asked her.

"I know right? Haley's turn!" she said excitedly, flopping down on a chair in the blue dress, swinging her legs up over the armrest, revealing her red toe nails.

I followed Haley to a rack of dresses and helpfully flipped through them with her. She vetoed my every suggestion and only looked happy when she came across a black dress, blushed and scurried into the change room with it.

Brooke clapped her hands excitedly when Haley came out in the black dress. It was unique but worked on her and particularly on her Hollywood style figure.

It was one shouldered, and the black fabric stopped just shy of her shoulder and was held up by a string of vaguely flower shaped diamonds. The rest of the top part slanted down low. The hem of the dress was at it's highest at her knee and slanted down towards her ankles. She experimentally piled her hair atop her head and twirled around to show herself off.

"That's great," I said.

"Nathan's going to go nuts. Jake too. Speaking of which, you're buying this dress," she said, tossing a dress of light white fabric to me.

They were silent as I walked back five minutes later, clad in the white dress. Haley gaped. Brooke grinned.

"You are so putting out in that," she said happily.

"Peyton that's beautiful!" said Haley, awestruck.

"There's not enough of it," I protested.

"No, it's perfect. We're not leaving her without it."

I felt a sad sense of regret as the dress went up over my head and I changed back into my jean skirt and tank top.

We all proceeded to the lingerie store caring our purchases in large bags.

"Oh God," said Haley, turning suddenly to awkwardly study a display of men's leather belts. We glanced at what she'd been looking at and quickly looked away ourselves.

Chris, carrying his guitar and looking equally skinny as I'd last seen him. Haley's hiding did no good-he quickly spotted her and came over, looking genuinely happy to see her. He pulled her into an unwilling embrace.

"Haley James! What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Prom dress shopping," she answered.

"When are you coming back?" he asked, dropping his arms from her and allowing one to trail across her hip. She flinches.

"What are you, deaf? It's over. And it's not Haley James idiot," she whispered harshly.

"Still living that dream?" he asked arrogantly. Inside of her I saw her resist the urge to slap him.

"It's Haley Scott. Don't even bother with the James," she said, turning away from him. Brooke quickly followed her but I hung back-

"And it's not a dream-they go at it like _rabbits_," I said viciously as Brooke grabbed my wrist and pulled me away.

"What's he doing here?" she asked for the millionth time as Brooke frowned at her reflection, clad only in a small blue slip.

"He's come to take you away from us again," said Brooke, twisting to look at the slip in another angle.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said firmly, stepping out of a changing room in a lacy black strapless bra. They were trying to determine what to wear under their dresses and I was having none of it.

"I know. We just have to convince him of that," I said. Brooke giggled and seemed to pronounce herself satisfied.

"Well the rabbit comment will help you there," she said as Haley rolled her eyes.

We stopped for sodas in the food Court before leaving the mall.

"Are you really completely not tempted by him?" I asked her.

"As a man, yes. As a musician, yes! Living like that isn't for me," she said firmly.

"And how could you possibly give something like Nathan up?" asked Brooke. As her eyes took on a dreamy look, I knew she wasn't thinking of Nathan, but of Mouth.

Brooke was driving Haley home but I had my car, so we parted ways at the mall exit. All three of us were carrying our dress bags, and Brooke and Haley each carried two lingerie bags. Brooke handed me one after I'd hugged her goodbye.

"Just a little treat for Jake," she said, winking. I rolled my eyes and walked back to my car.

My scorn didn't stop me from trying on the white lingerie at home, at the privacy of my mirror. Jake and Jenny were together elsewhere, so I didn't need to worry about being interrupted in such a state-and Jake would be sure to take it the wrong way.

"Uh, Peyton?" came a voice from behind me. Not Jake's voice. I jumped and swiveled around to face him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. His eyes widened as he took in all my exposed skin.

"Um I borrowed your CD," he said awkwardly.

"Stop staring. This isn't for you," I said crossly, snatching the CD from his hand. And placing it with my others.

"Of course, seeing as I'm the devil," he said.

"Shut up."

"Peyton," he said softly. Impulsively I stopped in front of him and allowed myself to gaze into his eyes. I felt a strong sense of deja-vu.

This time he lowered his lips to mine quickly and my mouth opened of it's own accord as my hands traveled around him. Our tongues met, sparking as they always did. He ran his fingers across my back and down to my hips, familiarizing himself with my body. I couldn't stop myself from giving away to something so forbidden, yet so right.

Suddenly I my thoughts focused and I pulled away from him. My hand sharply met his cheek.

"Don't you ever do that again," I said fiercely, backing away from him. He sent me a hurt, lost look that almost cancelled out my forbidding feelings that were growing towards him.

Had I really gone and done that? Again? One kiss can mean nothing but a follow up kiss will always cement the first.

When I next remembered what happened I was wearing my clothes and Jenny's yells and the smells of cooking were reaching me. Dazedly I got up as my memories of Luke came back to me in a haze.

"Hey. Awake now?" he asked as I ran into the kitchen, skidding on the tiles.

"Yeah. When did you get back?" I asked him.

"About an hour ago-Luke was just leaving. Guess you feel asleep quickly-he said you guys had a good talk?" asked Jake. That had been close.

"Yeah, it was okay," I said, walking over to him and moving into an embrace.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

I wanted to kiss Jake-badly-especially that night in the kitchen just after Luke had kissed me so perfectly. To figure out if my heart was lying to me or not. But I couldn't-although he wouldn't know, I'd regret kissing him, feeling as though it was just making amends. Right now Luke was kissing me and not Jake-so I couldn't give the argument that yeah, I'd let like kiss me twice but hadn't Jake kissed me so much more often? It would be a weak argument, an untrue one.

Jake had to go in to school the next day to do his last final but I stayed home with Jenny. Jenny who was beginning to get into the terrible twos and be quite a handful.

"Can I come in?" asked a cautious voice near the door.

"I don't know, planning on being an asshole?" I asked bitterly, raising my eyebrows and taking on a look of fake questioning.

"I wanted to apologize to you-I haven't been respecting you or Jake since the whole thing with me and you and Nikki and seeing as the two of you are two of my best friends, you deserve that. I promise it won't happen again," he said.

"Of course it won't. But you know why? Not because you're on another one of your 'be a better person' campaigns but because I'm not going to let you seeing as I'm married. You know how little I respected Haley when she did the same thing to Nathan? And you're one of Jake's best friends!" I said.

"I know. But if it stops now it won't matter at all," he said. He was wrong-it would matter. But it would be nothing in a few years when we looked back at it.

"Whatever. Uh come in," I said. He stopped hovering by the door and looked at the sketch I was drawing-a beautiful Brooke with a skinny guy she was staring at.

"That Mouth?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. I adding some shading to her face.

"That's great. How unbelievable is it that they're together?" he asked. I laughed in spite of myself.

"I know. It's great though-she needs a guy like him. She's dated lots of jerks," you know?"

"I guess I deserve to be counted in that list," he said, laughing grimly.

"I belong on a list as much as you do," I said.

"So are you still planning on going away to school?" he asked.

"I don't know. I mean Jake isn't and Jenny's practically my daughter and I don't know how I can stand to leave her alone all the time," I admitted.

"Jenny has Jake as well. And Mom and Whitey," reminded Luke.

"Jake needs me as well," I said.

"He does," said Luke.

"I went prom dress shopping with Haley and Brooke," I said, again steering the conversation away from dangerous territory.

"Oh yeah? Get something nice?" he asked.

"Yeah, we all did. It was a successful outing. But guess who we saw while we were there?"

"Who?" he responded warily.

"Chris. Being oddly territorial," I said.

"She won't go away again Peyton," he said.

"He likes her," I said sadly.

"No, he _wants_ her, which is a completely different thing. However, she is completely in love with Nathan," he said.

"She was last time, too. It didn't stop her from leaving," I said.

"She'd never have left if Nathan hadn't said the things he said to her," he said. I looked away-Haley had never repeated his words, but I understood the gist of them.

"And he won't be crazy enough to say a think like that again, right?" I asked.

"Right. Besides, have you ever seen him this happy?" he asked.

"Yeah, before Chris showed up," I said.

"No, I think he's happier now. Now he knows that whatever comes there way, he and Haley can stand strong together. He didn't know that before," said Luke.

"I wish I knew that," I said, voicing my fears.

"I think that the fact that you care enough to fear that it won't work is a sign that you're strong enough to make it work," he said.

"Who are you taking to the prom?" I asked him.

"I have no idea. I could have asked you or Brooke as a friend, but now you're both taken. Know of anyone free?" he asked.

"No-I'm not abreast with gossip as I used to be," I admitted.

"Yeah. Maybe we could ask Brooke? About gossip," he clarified.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Lucas made himself easy to hate by being horrible, like he'd been lately. It was harder when he came over and easily and sweetly conversed with me about all our friends and our lives in the present and future.

How could anyone chose Lucas over Jake? Jake was less desirable, being a father to a two year old, but his daughter gave him maturity and made him able to care for anyone. He'd never hurt anyone if he could help it. Luke put up an act of being a good guy, an act that girls like Brooke and I always fell for. But he'd cheated on Brooke with me and almost cheated on me with Nikki. And then several months later he'd broken up with his girlfriend in light of growing feelings for Brooke, who he'd claimed to not like particularly in the first place. And he'd been shocked when she'd not fallen into his waiting arms.

Haley had once said so accurately that you couldn't chose who you fell for. She'd fallen for Nathan. Back before him she'd been in straight A student, the best tutor in the school, held down an afternoon job and was a straightedge to boot. In walks Nathan with his clean cut good looks and six feet of muscle and suddenly her clothes bear more of her. Her originality shrivels and she runs away to New York to pursue a music career with another guy crazy about her. Did falling for Nathan really give Haley the best deal in life?

Nathan was at the opposite end of the scale. He had his clean cut good looks and his six feet of muscle. He also had a position on the school's basketball team and was hailed as it's hero. He also had a beautiful cheerleader girlfriend (me) and wealthy parents who owned two mansions. When Haley came along he'd moved out of his parent's, quit and rejoined the team, dried up some of his talent pining for her and giving up his spare time to work at an auto shop so they could get by.

And yet they managed to love each other passionately.

My mind screamed Jake while my heart longed for Lucas. The angel on my shoulder sided for my husband, the devil for my ex-boyfriend.

"Why do you like me?" I asked later that evening, after Jenny had gone to bed.

"Love you?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Because you're so different. And you surprise me-everyday I think I understand you but I never do. You're made of layers that fascinate me. And you have all the other stuff-you're funny intelligent and beautiful. And because you saw me, a high school dropout with a daughter but didn't immediately turn away in scorn," he said.

"Of course I'm not scornful-I think it's incredible how you raise Jenny, how you love her so much, how you gave up so much of your life to be with her. And how you put your life into keeping her away from Nikki," I said.

"How could someone not? She's so perfect. And how could anyone look at her, something that's a part of you and turn away from it? For a long time she was the best thing I had," he said.

"And now?" I asked him. He looked up and smiled.

"I'm going to have to say it's a tie," he said. I smiled at him but quickly looked away-I was the best thing in his life according to him, and I was kissing someone else more than I was kissing him.

Haley burst in a minute later, sweeping the moment away with her.

"We're having a girl's night," she announced, dropping down into a kitchen chair.

"Haley! I'm kind of in the middle of something!" I protested. She looked between us shrewdly.

"Yeah, well, Brooke's kind of having a nervous breakdown. Come on," she ordered. Sighing I stood up.

"I'll be back by midnight," I promised him. She laughed.

"Jake, count on three. Come on," she said, pulling me out the front door.

Brooke wasn't having a nervous breakdown but was rather slightly anxious about us all living far apart from each other so soon. And we solved it her way-by heading to the bar, getting toasted and spending hours doing things we'd regret the next morning.

I awoke to a stiff headache and an acid taste in my mouth, warning me that I was about to lose my stomach. I hurtled down the hall to my bathroom, just reaching it as I did so spectacularly.

I could hear Jake and Jenny downstairs as I walked stiffly back to the room. Hesitantly I picked up the phone and dialed the James-Scott house.

"Hello?" she said cheerily, picking up. How like Haley to wake up daisy fresh when I woke up hung over.

"Why don't I remember last night?" I demanded.

"Well you had a few too many," she said slowly.

"We were in a bar. I probably had many too many," I said.

"Yeah. So did Brooke, but you were the only one that went home with… wait, you seriously don't remember anything?" she asked guiltily.

"Not a thing," I said.

"Okay. Um go to the mirror and turn around," she instructed.

"Why?" I asked reprehensively.

"Just do it," she said. Slowly I walked to the mirror and turned ninety degrees. In a flash my eyes hit the bare skin left by my low pants and small top.

"You let me get a tattoo!" I accused her.

"No, actually there was no stopping you once you had the idea in your head," she said, stifling a giggle.

"Right. It's exactly like yours," I said angrily. It wasn't really-though the placing was similar my tattoo was slightly more elaborate than the jersey number on her lower back. A small, dramatic sun waved it's rays in all direction with a diameter of about an inch and a half. Two blue number stood out in the centre of the sun in elegant lettering-21. Jake's jersey number. I threw the phone on the bed and ran down to Jake.

"That's nice," he said, running a finger over it as I confessed my late night doings.

"They shouldn't allow drunken teenage girls to get tattoos," I said. It was lucky I hadn't gone completely insane and requested three, Lucas's number.

"I'm glad they do," he said. Leaning up I pecked his cheek and settled down with a bowl of cereal.

_Author's note: Just out of curiosity-do you want her with Lucas or Jake? Who do you think she will end up with? If you feel so inclined, email or reviews with responses. I'm just trying to figure out if the ending will shock anyone._


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

"Did you have a good time last night?" asked Nathan. By the time my girls evening had ended it was three o'clock in the morning and he hadn't stirred as I'd crawled into bed beside him and placed my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah. Brooke and Peyton both got wasted and we needed to call a cab. Peyton got a tattoo," I revealed.

"Oh yeah? What, a 3?" he joked. I glared at him. "What? I'm just kidding around."

"It's not funny anymore-they kissed again. And I feel so torn-she's my girl best friend and he's my guy best friend and part of me wants them together but another part wouldn't wish him on anyone else I loved," I admitted.

"Yeah. Who knew he'd turn into such a chick magnet?" wondered Nathan.

"I did. I grew up with Lucas, and part of him are so incredibly endearing. Like he's so sweet, and he seems like the kind of guy who'd treat a girl like she's a goddess," I said.

"Only he doesn't," said Nathan.

"Oh, he does. Girls love him, he just likes girls a bit too much," I clarified. Nathan was looking decidedly worried by this time-he took my hand, pulled me over to where he was sitting, and settled me on his lap. I kissed him.

"Not for me," I promised.

"Oh yeah? You're sounding awfully positive," he said, though laughing slightly.

"You're for me," I promised. He kissed me. I decided that right then wasn't the time to tell him about the appearance of Chris.

"Yeah. You too. Do you think Peyton will be with Luke? Or Jake?" he asked.

"I don't know. When Luke started to get popular and they began to get to know each other I thought she'd stay with you, but then she didn't," I admitted.

"Thanks."

"Anytime. So by that theory I'd go for Luke again but Peyton loves Jenny so much, and Jake's so good to her, even if she doesn't like being married," I said.

"She doesn't?"

"No-she never lets Jake kiss her and they haven't done it in weeks. Since before their wedding. And he does all these lovely romantic things and she just turns away from him," I said.

"I think that the decision to get Jake's number when she's completely wasted. However, speaking of which-we haven't done it in about an hour," he said, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"I can't-I was up all night and I'm exhausted. In fact I think I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life right here," I said, pointing downwards, toward his lap and hugging him.

"Are you tired? Or just immobile?" he asked.

"Immobile. But who knows what could get me walking again," I said provocatively.

"No need," he said. Hooking his arm under my knees he swept me into his arms. I giggled and clung to him.

"That's so weird-Jake did the same thing to Peyton on their wedding night and after the Nikki thing," I commented.

"I know-she told me, and it sounded as though she didn't mind it," he said.

We made it to the bedroom. As he dropped me on the bed and got on, my mouth met his, our lips on fire. Without hesitation I pulled off my shirt, revealing a lacy bra that I'd bought several days previously. Quickly he responded and tugged off his basket ball jersey and then my jeans and his. His lips slid from my mouth down my abdomen as he held off just long enough for me to desire him incredibly.

"Off all the things that I've missed in this year, I have to say that that's near the top," he said. I giggled, not bothering to pretend to be offended.

"Me too," I admitted.

"Oh yeah? What happened to your sacred virginity?" he asked playfully.

"Shut up," I responded easily.

"Oh, I forgot to ask-how was your prom dress outing? Did you guys find what you wanted?" he asked.

"Yeah. Peyton's is the best," I admitted.

"I'm sure I'll like yours better. Anything else happen?" he asked carelessly. It was now or never.

"We ran into Chris," I said quietly.

"What? Yesterday? What the hell is he doing here?" demanded Nathan.

"Tormenting me," I said.

"Right."

"Nathan nothing happened. He came, he hugged me, he said some stupid things that attacked my character, called me Haley James, I called myself Haley Scott, Brooke and I left and Peyton hung around to say something about rabbits," I said honestly. "Cross my heart."

"He hugged you?"

"Yes. _He _hugged _me._ Then he did this thing where when he dropped his arms he felt all of me-it was gross," I said. Slowly Nathan dropped back onto his pillow and put his arm around me again.

"Bastard. I can kick his ass for you, if you want," he volunteered.

"Please. You wouldn't believe all the time he spends getting his hair to stick up," I said, giggling.

"Sure I would. I mean I live with you, don't I?" he teased.

"Hey! Curling the ends takes twenty minutes, tops," I defended.

"Straightening takes twenty minutes longer," he reminded me.

"Fine, you win that one. But what about shaving? You spend twice as long shaving, more than any guy I've ever met. And I grew up with four brothers," I retaliated. "And Luke."

"First of all I do it for my job, and second of all Luke doesn't shave often enough."

"Yeah he does. Scruffy works on him. On you, not so much," I said. He reached to tickle me and I quickly rolled away. As I did he softly reached out to touch my tattoo.

"Did you ever consider getting it removed?" he asked.

"Never. I once said to Lucas-I'm in love for the first time and if I look at this in twenty years and think of how I feel right now I think I'm going to be okay with that," I quoted.

"Probably when Lucas look's at his tattoo he thinks of the hangover he had the next day," joked Nathan.

"Yeah. Or the first time he had sex," I slipped.

"What? Luke lost his virginity to Brooke? As a _junior?_" asked Nathan, snickering.

"Yes, you win. You win that all important race, are you proud?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm just surprised, that's all," he said.

"Hey, do you want to move?" I asked him suddenly.

"Well, that was on topic."

"No, seriously. I mean we have lots of money now and we could, if we wanted to. Get a house like Peyton and Jake," I suggested.

"I'm good here, honestly. This place represents so much to me-our first home, my first place free of my parents. And by the way, Peyton and Jake are married in name only and they're raising a daughter," he reminded me.

"I know but you know, someday… who knows?" I said innocently.

"Let's live for right now, shall we?" he suggested.

"Yeah. And let's start with getting new curtains," I said, blinking in the sunlight. I watched as he got up and pulled on a zip up sweater and a pair of jeans, admiring the effect.

"I'll be out in a sec," I promised, relaxing onto the soft pillows, trying to shake off the feeling that I'd forgotten something. Something critical.

_Author's note: I'd like to make something clear-a reviewer pointed out that Peyton's tattoo read 21 and not 00, which is Jake's tattoo number. But seriously, who wants a 00 just above their ass? So I changed it. As always, review review review! The end is in sight…_


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

"Seeing as Whitey's a teacher and Karen and Keith are going to be chaperones what do you think we should do with Jenny tonight?" I asked Jake as the morning of the prom arrived.

"My parents I guess. Oh, and speaking of which-your dad hasn't come home in a while. You heard from him?" asked Jake.

"Yeah. I wrote him an email about us and he responded and then wrote again a few days ago. But I guess he's really busy or something," I said. Secretly I was still annoyed at him for missing my wedding.

"You know he had no idea we were getting married immediately," reminded Jake. I smiled at him lightly as Jenny began to make her presence known and I walked over to her crib to lift her out.

"Oof. She's getting so big," I said, recalling the baby that had lain in my arms perfectly still so many months ago.

"Yeah. I miss that," he said. Was he hinting what I thought he was hinting?

"She's so much fun now though," I said.

"So are you going to Brooke or Haley and Nathan's today to get ready?" he asked, lifting her onto her changing table.

"Brooke offered-I might just get ready, go over there and let her touch everything up. Maybe," I said. I nervously twirled my wedding ring around my ring finger.

"Okay. Just call me from wherever you are and I'll come and pick you up. For eight, okay?" he said.

"Yeah. Just no limo?" I requested.

"Tacky?"

"A little. And way overplayed this year," I said.

"Okay, I'll come in one of the cars. What should I be wearing?" he asked. I laughed.

"Do you own a tux?" I asked.

"No-I borrowed the one I wore at the wedding," he supplied.

"Okay. Wear a suit. Dressy shoes and a tie. What colour's your suit?" I asked.

"Black," he answered. "And your dress?"

"White," I said. That worked.

"Are you and Brooke anxious?" he asked.

"Why?"

"Oh, the prom Queen thing. Neither of you has actually campaigned, but it couldn't be anyone else," he said sweetly.

"I don't think it matters to her as much as it used to. I mean she's driving to her prom in her own car with her date, an AV geek. But her dress is gorgeous," I confessed.

"Speak of the devil…" said Jake. I turned to him, my back to the door as I heard an excited shriek.

"He's coming to Vassar with me! All the way to Vassar!" she said excitedly.

"Mouth?" I asked in interest.

"Yes, Mouth! He's coming, P. Sa… Jagielski, he's coming with me!" she said excitedly, hopping out almost as soon as she'd come.

"I guess I should get used to people never knocking?" he asked.

"Yeah. I used to listen to music really loud before you guys came along and I'd never really hear the doorbell. Not such a safe thing, for a woman living alone," I said reflectively.

"Yeah. I guess you were just lucky?" he commented.

"Yeah. And the first time he ever saw my dad Luke came in with a rake and tried to attack him. I had people to take care of me," I said. My mind immediately flashed to the kiss in my underwear.

"I'm glad," he said, laughing.

"Yeah. Um I might be in the bathroom all day-lots of work to do," I said.

"You look perfect already," he commented. I blushed. "And even nicer when you blush."

"Thanks, but I'm going for a manicure. I'll see you around," I said.

I spent the rest of the day doing treatments in my bathroom. After a while Haley joined me and informed me that Nathan knew of Chris and had taken it well.

We started off with giving each other pedicures and manicures in a bright red. She convinced me to was my eyebrows, which was painful but very neat. We did at home facials.

"So where's Brooke?" she called from inside the shower.

"She was very pleased with Mouth when she was here this morning," I said suggestively.

"Very Brooke of her. I love Mouth and I love the two of them together but part of me would have trouble dating a guy with a nickname like Mouth," she said.

"She calls him Lips sometimes," I said helpfully.

"Yeah, and that's a lot better. I have this scary feeling that I missed something yesterday," she said. I sensed tension behind her carefree words.

"Like an appointment?" I asked, leaning forward to examine the brown roots of my blond hair.

"Or something," she said.

"And you were… otherwise occupied?" I asked.

"Speaking of which, Brooke says if _you_ aren't otherwise occupied by tonight she's going to start spreading it around town that you're pregnant," said Haley cheerily.

"Brooke's all talk," I defended. She walked out, dressed only in her lingerie. I looked away as she wrapped a towel around herself and came over to me with her curling iron and a brush. I carefully curled the tips of her hair and tucked it into itself in a style vaguely resembling a French twist, carefully added in some faked diamond ended hairpins to make it look festive and pulled the curls out of the top of the twist. As she admired her reflection, I was almost as surprised as she was at how good it looked.

My hair took about half as long. I suggested straightening it, to go for a different look, but she wouldn't here of it. Almost as we had at my wedding she pulled it into a bun near the top of my head and skillfully pulled down a few curls.

We both applied lipstick (of varying degrees of red) and traces of eyeliner and mascara before she left and I changed into my dress and shoes.

Breathlessly I slid my mother's diamonds into my ears and stepped back to admire the effect. My eyebrows were symmetrical, my makeup worked perfectly with the theme of the dress. It floated up as I twirled around.

I started as I heard Jake curse under his breath in the next room and suddenly recalled that a world existed out of me and Haley primping in the bathroom. It was odd, how long I'd expected spending this day, our last, with Brooke. But she'd been with her boyfriend-at least he was a good guy.

I ran out of the room, concerned. He didn't notice what I was wearing-he was messing with a blue and gray tie, attempting to tie it properly and failing miserably.

"Jake," I said, taking it from him and undoing his efforts. He noticed my makeup but I was too close to him for him to notice my dress.

"Wait a sec," he said, taking my hand and taking a step back. His eyes traveled from my head to my toes, lingering in my eyes.

The dress was slightly out of the ordinary-a Marilyn Munroe dress, for lack of a better term. The light fabric fell only to my knees. The bodice was on my shoulders and went down in a v to show. I twirled around for him and the skirt flared up, almost but not quite revealing my underwear.

"You look beautiful," he said sincerely. I blushed and closed the distance between us to work with his tie.

As my fingers picked up their knack and I stopped concentrating I looked up at him-he was already staring at me, so close to him for once. I pulled the thinner part through and messed with a knot for a moment. There. Done. I looked up again and smiled. I couldn't get myself to tear away from his eyes. He knew better than to try and kiss me by now.

Before I could think about it I reached up and quickly kissed his mouth. Glancing into his eyes, I silently dared him. He took it in a spectacular fashion-cradling my head on his arms, he kissed me deeply and longingly. I pressed up against him and set to work unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt as he tried unzipped my dress. Quickly I slid the knot along the tie, loosening it and tossing it into a corner as he shrugged of his jacket and kissed me again.

"God Peyton," he said, looking at me again. I was down to the corset tied bustier (lacy white and embroidered red rosebuds) and a matching pair of underwear. We fell backwards onto the bed and quickly found our way in each other's bodies after such a long time apart.

Half an hour later we were still in bed, blissfully content. I glanced at the clock-it was almost seven thirty. The prom, which I had been looking forward to, was now here and all I wanted to do was stay in bed with him.

"Haley's going to kill me," I said, sitting up and attempting to repair my hair. He took my hand and I tumbled back down onto the bed, laughing.

"No. I need to pretend this is our wedding night for a second," he said. I closed my eyes and imagined it too.

Another twenty minutes later I was once again ready to go, all evidence of our activity gone from me. Brooke would be the only person there that would be able to tell, which was alright with me.

He offered me his arm and I took it as we walked to the car. When we arrived he came around to my side to open my door before getting in himself.

Our prom wasn't held at THH, but at a place downtown. When we arrived inside it was surprising how nice it was-many little tables, hanging lights decorating a dance floor with a stage for a band. Over in one corner were two ballot boxes. We stopped there first as I voted for Brooke and for Jake.

We quickly joined Brooke and Mouth and Haley and Nathan. Brooke's hair was loose and curled. Her eyes widened as she looked from Jake to me-I had been right about her. In reference to a joke between us I fluttered my eyelids open and closed again.

Brooke and Mouth went up to dance as soon as they began to play-Mouth was a great dancer but Jake wasn't and I wasn't big on the faster songs. We stayed behind with Nathan and Haley, almost as close to each other as they were for once.

"You look great," I told Haley. She looked almost as she had when she'd left-but her hair, as well, showed slight signs of a last minute fix.

"You too. You should have one of those beauty mark things," she said jokingly.

"I can't believe you got out of wearing a tux," said Nathan to Jake over my head.

"I can't believe you own a tux," he retorted.

The argument was avoided as a slow song came on and the four of us went to the dance floor. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mouth and Brooke go together like magnets.

I wrapped my arms around Jake's neck. He draped his loosely around my waist and pulled me close and we swayed, almost as a single being, in time to the music. To my right I could see Nathan and Haley pressed up together, swaying. Slow dancing isn't really dancing in some ways, but in other ways the most intimate thing one can do. Jake pressed his lips to the nape of my neck and I stifled a giggle.

I was tempted to stay with him as the song ended but regretfully pulled away. Our intimacy had made my feelings for him blossom, my heart and mind in agreement for once. I didn't even think of Luke until he arrived later (stag), a traitor to my happiness.

"How'd it happen?" asked Brooke excitedly as soon as she, Haley and I had a moment to ourselves.

"What? It happened?" demanded Haley.

"You're hair's in disarray too," I shot back. She blushed and didn't deny it.

"Peyton!"

"Well he was struggling with his tie and I went out of the bathroom to help him and he was all absorbed in the tie but once I started to help him he noticed what I was wearing and admired him and then I got back to the tie we started staring at each other and he didn't lean down to kiss me like I thought he might but I guess he learned his lesson so I kissed him and then he kissed me and then we started taking out clothes off," I said.

"It was so the bustier," said Brooke in satisfaction.

A half hour later the principal took the stage.

"Gag me. This is tacky. Congratulations in advance," I said to Brooke, leaning back into my chair and crossing my arms.

"To our class of 2006-you guys have been a special class. We'll miss you and we're proud of each and every one of you. Now, the nominations for Prom King-Lucas Scott, Nathan Scott, Jake Jagielski, Ruben Gutierrez and Adam Narod. And you guys have voted for… Lucas Scott!" he said as the room erupted in cheers. The three of us exchanged slightly surprised looks-we'd expected Nathan to win, hands down. He awkwardly made his way to the stage and accepted a plastic crown. I giggled in spite of myself-this was the kind of thing I'd hate. When the room had calmed down, he spoke again.

"And, for the moment many of you have been waiting for four years-the nominees for prom queen: Bevin Greenwin, Brooke Davis, Peyton Sawyer and Nadia O'Connor. And in one of the tightest races in Tree Hill High history, our Queen is… Peyton Sawyer!" he boomed. I glanced sideways at Brooke, who looked like she cared surprisingly little. Jake, who's lap I was on, helped me up as I walked unsteadily to the front of the room and accepted an equally junky crown, feeling Luke's stare as I did do. How could Brooke not have won? She was student body president and cheerleader captain-unheard of until her time. Didn't Prom Queen belong in her list?

Haley's voice come out of the speaker with the same song she'd sung at our wedding. I walked off the stage.

"Peyton?" said Lucas. I turned halfway around-he was offering me hid hand. Oh, right. I took it and loosely placed my arms on his shoulders as his went to my hips.

Dancing with him was one of the most awkward moments in our history. He stared into my eyes as I looked past him, to Jake. He noticed my staring, I quickly realized.

Which was probably why, halfway through the song, he leaned down to claim my lips with his.

Almost instantly I pulled away and backed away from him. My eyes immediately swiveled to our table as my feet took me there. I heard running footsteps and Luke took my hand-I shook him off and kept walking.

Jake's expression was between hurt and anger. Haley and Brooke were both very worried looking, knowing more about the situation than anyone. Nathan looked between Jake and me, his brow furrowed.

I slipped into the chair beside Jake and tried to ignore the crowds of students who thought I was a whore. I placed my hand on his arm-he shook me off. Tears filled my eyes. He didn't even notice.

"Jake," I said pleadingly. He didn't even glance.

"Awfully nice parting gesture," he said.

"It's not like that. He just kissed me," I said.

"You're always talking about him. I didn't even question it until today. He's supposed to be one of your best friends, right? So I guess tonight was the first time you've kissed him since you broke it off?" he asked. Sometimes I underestimated how well he knew me.

"Jake," I said again.

"Yes or no, Peyton," he said. a tear slipped down my cheek.

"Please just listen," I begged.

"Yes or no!" he repeated. He jumped up from his chair. For the first time he looked at me-tears were in his eyes as well. With his gaze upon me, I couldn't lie-

"No."

I fled before he did. He dropped the keys in front of me and collapsed back into his chair as I ran, praying that even Brooke wouldn't follow me.

I blasted a song from my car stereo as I used to do before it had acquired a baby seat. Instinctively I turned my car back towards residential Tree Hill and found myself outside of Jake's old house. I ran up and rang the doorbell, hoping my eyes weren't suspiciously puffy.

"Peyton!" said Jake's mother, Lisa, answering the door and hugging me. "Come in!" I nodded and followed her to a crib where Jenny was sleeping. Carefully I eased her into my arms.

"Going so soon? How was the prom?" she asked. Her gaze flicked to the crown that was still on my head.

"It was fun. I got crowned Queen," I said. I smiled tightly to her before leaving again.

I left Jenny sleeping in her car seat before getting out a second time. I crept up the walk to the door to Luke's bedroom and placed the plastic crown on his stoop. Would he understand what I meant? Did it matter anymore?

Fearing I wouldn't be able to sleep I changed quickly into pajamas and went into the bed with Jenny beside me, suspecting that Jake wouldn't be home that night.


	20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

As Jenny screamed we awake I looked sideways at her and wondered how she could scream as she normally did. As the day progressed I wondered how she could bring herself to eat, to laugh or even smile. I wondered how her mind could not flick, a thousand times, to where on Earth her father was and what he was thinking. I wondered how she could look curious and surprised when the phone rang-many, many time from three numbers-L Scott, N and H Scott and from B Davis. All I wanted was a single call from one number-J Jagielski, the one number that didn't call.

Eventually the constant calls forced me to pull the phone cord out of the wall. I turned on my cell-but besides Jake, Luke, Brooke, Nathan and Haley my cell number was known to few. They quickly changed their calls to my cell. They didn't take hints.

"Mommy I want go out," demanded Jenny eventually. I glanced at her in slight annoyance before an idea flickered through my head.

"Okay Jenny," I said. She, in her Osh Kosh overalls, was dressed appropriately. I, in my pajamas, was not. I quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt and tied back my hair, not wanting it to look worse than it had to. I lifted her into her stroller and gave her a bottle of water and some crackers as we departed.

The walk to city hall was a long one, but I needed not to drive to make myself seem less pathetic, though this logic did not make much sense outside of my head.

"Hello, I'd like to file for a name change," I said to the woman manning the desk. She smiled at Jenny.

"Fill this out, pay with cash or charge. One hundred fifty," she said shortly. I took a seat and stared at the sheet of paper in front of me.

Current name. Desired name, age, marital situation, occupation, residence… I filled out the questions in a daze. Jenny had thankfully fallen asleep.

I saved the box for Desired Name for last. Slowly, painstakingly, I wrote. _Peyton Jagielski_ it stated in my hand. I handed the paper to the woman and walked out with Jenny, proud of my accomplishment.

My phone rang. I glanced at the name on the display and grinned suddenly-Jagielski, what I'd been hoping for.

"Hello?" I said eagerly into the phone.

"Peyton dear, is everything all right?" asked a calm female voice. Lisa. Of course.

"Why yes, everything's fine," I said.

"Where are you?"

"Just outside city hall. I just officially became Peyton Jagielski," I said.

"Well that's lovely but I was wondering what happened between you and Jake? He came soon after you did and sounded surprised when we told him you'd been and gone," she said.

"We had a fight. Actually I haven't heard from him since then, have you?"

"No, no one has. But I know he often goes out with Lucas when he's upset," she said helpfully. I laughed wearily.

"Thanks, I'll try that," I said.

"You do that. Call me if you need anything," she said.

"I'll do that-by Lisa," I said, hanging up the phone. Try Lucas. Right.

As we arrived home I carefully placed Jenny back in her crib and watched her sleep for a moment. She was so perfect. Her blonde curls had grown almost to her shoulders, her rosebud mouth was so tiny while she slept, opposed to how huge it grew when she screamed. Her long eyelashes fanned out on her cheeks.

She was so beautiful, so completely lovable, always optimistic and cheerful yet stubborn and persistent. I loved her completely. Even if by some miracle I found I could live without Jake, I knew I couldn't without Jenny. Sometimes I wondered how there was anything, anywhere, that could live for a moment without Jenny. It was so hard to believe that a year ago, I'd been her babysitter and I was now her mother.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty-One

"I can't believe it's been a whole week," said Haley, almost to herself. I nodded in agreement.

"I'd think about filing a missing person's awareness form but then I'd have to explain the circumstances," I said. We both sat, cross legged on my bed. She held an unusually docile Jenny on her lap and casually tickled her feet every few minutes.

"I understand. I mean you did the same thing," she said gently. She sniffed the air-"Are you wearing perfume?"

"No. I've been calling and calling his cell but he just won't pick up. I mean he can't stay away forever. I've got our daughter and he loves her. And he can't just file for annulment now-we're both of age, both sound in mind and now it's consummated," I said, thinking of the evening a week previously. After two days, Brooke and Haley had given up on the phone and practically broken my door down in an effort to come in.

"He'll pick up. He's in love with you, remember? I mean Nathan forgave me," she said.

"Luke's his best friend," I moaned.

"He'll forgive you," she said confidently. "How are you doing anyway, taking care of her all alone?"

"Fine, actually. Now that school's over she's all I have responsibilities toward," I said.

"Hey," said a male voice from the door. I shut my eyes tightly.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I need to talk to you," he said.

"Haley?" I asked in resignation. She nodded and got up, walking silently and coldly past him. How had my relations effected the relations of the people around me?

"Look, I'm not going to kiss you. I'm not even going to touch you. I'm just going to sit right here," he said, sitting on my desk chair.

"What do you want?"

"I need to explain myself."

"Then do it already and get out," I said, glancing up at him from the sketch I was drawing. The same couple are pushing a stroller and the skank has disappeared-_Or Maybe I Did_, it reads.

"Peyton I think I fell in love with you for the first time almost two years ago. You were my half brother's girlfriend and for most of the time I'd known of you, you were just a cheerleader-just a beautiful blond cheerleader. Then I began to hear the music you listened to, see the things you could draw, saw you turn from Nathan. When you'd meet my eyes I felt like the luckiest guy ever. Then at that night at the party, Brooke was flirting with me. I can't say that I was never remotely attracted to Brooke, part of me was. But she was nothing to you. And then we kissed. But I went too far for you, I misread what you wanted. This was what made me sleep with Brooke and after I slept with her I couldn't just go back to you. I didn't want to be that guy. I turned into that guy when we went behind her back and I've never regretted many things more than breaking her heart so thoroughly. I thought we could be together then, but then your loyalty to Brooke shone through and I respect the hell out of that," he said.

"And then?" I asked. I had abandoned my drawing.

"After I had lost both of you, Brooke began to attract me again. Part of me thankfully forgot my love for you, only surfacing occasionally. When I was with Anna I liked her as well. But I never wanted you more than when I saw you walk down that aisle, the moment I knew you'd gone from me forever. But part of my problem is that seeing you with someone else drives me crazy, but that's not enough for you. You deserve someone who loves you for you completely and would never hurt you, ever. Someone like Jake. You deserve Jake and Jake deserves you. When I first met you I wasn't good enough for you. Then after a while, I thought I was good enough but now, once again, you're too good for me. And it's too late to go fall in love with Brooke again, so I guess for the time being I'm screwed. I guess what I wanted to say is that I really loved you, Pey, and part of me will love you forever," he said. Yet another tear escaped from my left eye.

"You were my first love, and I'll never forget that. But I love Jake now," I said bravely.

"I know. Which I'm going to accept, I promise you. I'm going to accept that and I'm going to make it up to both of you somehow, partially by never trying to seduce you again," he said. I managed a short laugh.

"Thank you Luke. But you have to go now," I said.

"I know. Thanks for hearing me out," he said, exiting. After a moment he doubled back.

"Sorry, Nate just asked me to give you this," he said, handing me an envelope. I slit it open as I left again, and a picture fluttered out-two wedding ring wearing hands. _But sometimes they come back_.

I wandered to the map on the wall, wondering where he'd gone. Savannah maybe, to visit his cousins? New York, to follow in my footsteps?

"He called," said Brooke tonelessly from the door. I spun around and stared.

"What?"

"He's fine. He's traveling, he says he needed to clear his head," she said.

"And he told you to tell me?" I said excitedly.

"No, he just expected the grapevine to do it's work. But why are you so worried? Yes, it will suck, and it will be hard to repair the damage but he is coming back to you," she said, assuring.

"How do you know that?" I asked, my voice small. She took my left hand and flipped it to display the ring.

"Because of this Peyton-he chose you and he's not backing down. He loves you too much," she said.

"Not anymore."

"Yes, maybe more than ever! I was looking at him just before you guys left-he wasn't looking as though he was furious, he looked hurt beyond all reason. Because you betrayed his love," she said.

"We got married because we had to," I reminded her.

"No, actually. He got married because _he_ had to. You two married each other because he wanted to marry you more than anyone else in the world," she said.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty Two

Two days later I spent the entirety of Jenny's nap retching into the toilet-the combination of stress and a failure to take care of myself properly had resulted in my catching Haley's bug, leaving us both empty stomached and constantly nauseous.

The nap on her next day I fell into a deep sleep.

Hours later my eyes slit open. The windows were wide open. The room was clean, the collected clutter had disappeared. Where had it gone?

He was sitting in a chair by the bed, watching me sleep. A napping Jenny was in his arms.

"Jake," I said sleepily. I opened my eyes wider.

"Peyton," he said. The twinkle in his eye gave away his illusion of somberness.

"Where did you go?"

"Away. I needed to clear my head. Nathan told me you were sick, and I was worried about you," he said.

"Haley is too, but we'll be fine. Please don't take Jenny away. I can't live without her," I said. I met his eyes carefully. "Or you."

"My mom said you changed your name. Why did you do that?" he asked.

"I was tired of hiding from the truth. I'm ready now, to live like we should and be really married. It's what I want," I promised.

"What happened between you and Lucas?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Just leftover feelings. He has a talent for finding me when I was vulnerable," I said.

"So the whole time that you wouldn't kiss me, it was because of him?" he asked.

"Only because it would be even less fair to you otherwise," I said.

"Have you talked to him since?"

"Yes. He came here a few days ago. We sorted out our feelings, and I think we can really be friends again. I think being friends might actually work really well for us," I admitted. Slowly he moved from sitting on the chair to on the bed.

"What do you really want, Peyton?" he asked.

"I want life to fall back into place. I want you to hold me like you did when I came back from New York. I want my nausea to stop. I want you to want me, and I want your trust back," I said.

"I trust you. I just don't trust my trust," he said.

"Someday?" I asked.

"In about five minutes," he admitted, after a pause.

"I want you to know that during prom I was only thinking of you. I'd already given up on him. That evening, and what we did meant everything to me," I said. "And I've still never with Lucas."

"Good. Peyton Jagielski-it has a nice ring. I figured you'd stick with Sawyer," he said.

"I thought about hyphenating, but that only makes sense in the first generation. If Jenny's last name was Jagielski-Sawyer and she married a guy, say Fred James Scott their kids would be Jagielski-James-Sawyer Scott," I said. He looked at me strangely.

"Could we go back to the way things were?" I asked him.

"Do you really want to?" he asked in slight surprise. I thought about that.

"No. I want you to be who you were before your found out what a horrible person I can be and I want me to be me like before we got married. Remember how much fun we had?" I asked.

"We weren't ready," he said dully.

"Maybe we weren't. But we are now."

On his lap, Jenny stirred. Stretching out her mouth opened in a yawn that filled the silent room. She twisted around to look at the face belonging to the arms that held her.

"Daddy!" she cried in excitement.

"I was so mad at you when I got to mom and she said you had Jenny," he said ruefully.

"I had to. I was beginning to fear that coming back for your wife wasn't a big enough motive, so I figured that if your wife and daughter were a package deal my chances would increase," I said.

"Yeah," he said. He touched one of my curls and twirled it around his index finger. It wasn't much, but it was everything.

After dark the six of us gathered at the beach-Nathan, Haley, Luke, Brooke, Jake and I. Mouth was even allowed as an honourary member to our group.

We built a fire and sat around it, magically separating into couples grouped together. I sat in between Jake's legs, Haley and Nathan sat side by side, their arms around each other. Brooke was sitting in Mouth's lap, and Lucas was alone. We were silent, in a mix of mourning and joy. It was a wake in so many ways.

Brooke and Mouth were leaving for New York in the morning. Luke was going to university on scholarship to pursue his basketball dreams. Haley and Nathan were relocating to California. Jake and I would be hopelessly alone.

"Do you realize that at one time or another, all of you have kissed two of each other?" asked Mouth suddenly, breaking the silence. I glanced around at them as we all silently calculated.

"Hey, I haven't," said Haley.

"We kissed on the Auction night," said Lucas.

"Yeah, but that was platonic," she protested.

"Well if that's the rule of the night…" I said, laughing. Jake laughed behind me.

"What?"

"Oh, well I've kissed you, Nathan, Lucas, Jake and Brooke, technically," I said, cringing.

"Hey, all but me!" said Haley.

"Well, who knows…" said Brooke.

"Please do," said Lucas. I saw Brooke reach out and slap his arm.

"_First of all you don't know me and second of all, you don't know me,"_ my mind suddenly said to me. Memories flashed through my head.

"_Guess who I went out with tonight? I'll tell you. Lucas."_

"_So how's the tutoring going? You're tutoring Nathan, right?"_

"_You submitted my sketches to Thud magazine!"_

"_You say a lot when you keep your mouth shut."_

"_And they liked them, didn't they?"_

"_Don't worry, I'll keep mine shut too."_

"_I know we don't exactly run with the same crowd but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."_

"_Back when I first met you, I was dating Nathan and he was a pretty bad guy. Who knew the two of you could switch places?"_

"_Nathan and I got married last night."_

_"Mostly being with you."_

_"Wedding usually start late, right?"_

_"Hey! Walking here!"_

"_I want to call a truce. A real one."_

"_Like you weren't aiming."_

"_I finally saw you clearly last night! They way you're treating your brother, and the way you're playing that girl!"_

"_You aren't on that list."_

The last flash caused me to giggle. They stopped their conversation and looked oddly at me.

"Just strolling down memory lane," I said sappily.

"Remember the time I tried to draw flyers for open mic night?" asked Haley.

"Yeah. And when we played water balloons on the roof?"

I wouldn't give up my daughter or my husband for the world. But maybe this, being beloved in a circle of friends, would last just as long and be almost as good? Maybe my choices hadn't led me down the wrong path.

(Not the end.)


	23. Epilogue

Epilogue

I pretended coyly that I didn't notice when Jake looked up from reading a book to Jenny, and he pretended he didn't notice me glance often at the two of them as I sketched them. The pencil sketch features the two of them exactly as they were, in our Saturday morning routine.

Outside, birds literally sang and everything was green. Tree Hill was never cold or gray, but nothing was like our Summer.

After school had ended and we'd resolved our issues, everyone's lives had settled back into harmony. Mouth and Brooke spent almost all of their time together so I spent what time wasn't spent with Jenny and Jake with Haley. She and Nathan were soon leaving for California on a job offer. Luke hung around, almost comfortable with us, and grew used to having Keith living with them. My dad came home for a brief visit, happy to see me but obviously aware of how much less I had guiltily not missed him.

A wind blew through the window, rifling through Jake's curly hair. The drawing slipped away from me and towards Jake. He picked it up, smiled and handed it back to me.

I glanced at my watch. It was three, still too early to get down to Tric and begin setting up for my all ages night. It was lucky that I had a boss like Karen, who understood the constraints on my time. Thud magazine was beginning to despair of me-my pictures had begun to lack their typical teenage angst.

The six of us had celebrated Nathan's birthday at the river court, where in many ways we'd all began. He joined me, Jake, and Luke in eighteen year old hood and proudly became an official adult, though his emancipation had made him that in many ways two years before. Haley wore the first thing he'd ever given her, a tacky beaded bracelet. After we'd given him his guests we played a game. It wasn't a fair game-Jake, tired of my jumping on his back whenever he took the ball, began to grab me when I took hold of it. Brooke liked this idea, and began to use her assets to effectively distract the boys. The girls against the boys game was near failure-there skill was unbeatable and our underhandness was unquenchable. We'd ended our day at the empty pool at Nathan and Haley's apartment-everyone was amused when my bikini top fell off when I dove in.

We'd all been to see Whitey, who seemed unsatisfied. Secretly I wondered what he'd do-we didn't need him to look after Jenny near as much and both of the Scott boys were gone from his team, the two best players he'd ever had. We all worried that Whitey would retire and end up drooling and needing our care-Whitey, who was so independent.

Chris was still around and still surfaced occasionally. We all knew that eventually he'd swoop in and try to take Haley back to New York, mess up her and Nathan again. As he made himself obvious in Tree Hill reporters descended on her, speculating about why he was around and I occasionally found myself present in the newspaper beside a startled Haley.

But Haley and Nathan still proved unmessupable. They could barely bear to be apart from each other and we all cheered as they passed the mark they'd failed at last time. They bought her a new keyboard-nothing on the grand piano she'd left behind in New York but perfectly fine for practicing for Tric nights, the new limit of her desires.

Lucas and Nathan's Dad, who'd failed miserably with both of them, attempted again to mend fences with Nathan and even with Haley along with his wife Deb. Neither Nathan nor Haley trusted them yet, but Dan and Deb came to the point where they'd on occasion be invited over for dinner. They gave up on Lucas, it seemed. Lucas had destroyed Dan fairly royally a year ago.

Haley had almost lost track of her own parents and even her many siblings. Her parents, never particularly attentive, had bought a motor home upon her marriage and traveled around the country. She had three siblings in university and four out of university, the oldest of which, Patrick, was married. None of the others except her, the youngest, were married. The only one she's seen in the last year is Taylor, the one Nathan slept with so long ago. I think Taylor could help Haley, if she let her. And I have a feelings, built on how Tree Hill always happens, that Taylor will reappear very soon.

I wonder how Jake is going to survive with Luke and Nathan away. He's always used them for help when he and I fought or he had trouble with Nikki. I was always there for him but I'd miss Haley and Brooke as much as he'd miss his friends. I wished desperately that Haley and Nathan would stay home, even if Luke and Brooke had to leave.

These thoughts mulling through my head, I glanced back at Jake and Jenny. Jake looked up and smiled at me.

"I love you," I said bravely.

"I love you too," he said. That was so right.

To my great surprise, Haley appeared at my door and ran over to me. Her face was white with shock, her hands cold in the warm day. Jake looked at her as she stared desperately at me, as though appealing for help.

"I've remembered that thing I forgot," she said. I relaxed.

"Oh, what was it? A doctor's appointment?" I asked easily. She shook her head and I noticed that her chestnut brown hair was curled or straightened but slightly frizzy, as though she'd taken shower and not bothered to dry her hair.

"No. I forgot to take a birth control pill-the day after our girl's night. Remember that?"

The End

_Author's note: Don't be concerned if I don't post the sequel for a little while, I might take a break. I also might not be able to bring myself to. So at some point, look for my sequel, currently titled 'Early for Two.' Like it? Understand it? It's going to be like this-a Jake, Peyton story with Nathan and Haley bits. Except for the two couple's time will be split almost equally. _

_Okay. Now I'd like to disclaim all the characters because I'm fairly sure they all belong to the WB network and March Schwann. _

_And thanks to my many great reviewers with their insight, predictions, suggestions and praise. I'd have given up without you, it wouldn't have seemed worthwhile. I don't think I've ever written a seventy five page story in a little over a week. _

_And if you liked this and you can't wait for 'Early for Two', go read Nevermore, my loner fic. It's not so long, but maybe it will tide you over for a little while. And maybe the cliffhanger will help with that. Did any of you suspect it? I'd be proud if you did._

_And I would like to explain something. If you were reading this carefully you may have noticed that they were seniors and Jenny was two, which isn't right. I solved this by saying they lived together without being together for longer than they were in the show. This is not an error, I just needed them to be older. And sorry I didn't write more than four words about basketball._

_So tell all your friends about 'Sacrifice' so it doesn't get completely buried because I love it and I hope you love it to. So review this one last time._

_Goodbye._

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